Judge, 1896-11-21 · page 3 of 16
Judge — November 21, 1896 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 323 Analysis This page from *Judge* contains several satirical pieces: **"Too Hot for Him"** (top): A courtroom scene mocking a prospector's complaint about travel routes to the Lost Basin settlement, featuring absurdist suggestions involving "Devil's half-stage" and hellish locations. The satire targets impractical or exaggerated frontier settlement claims. **"Evolution of Man Applied to Foot-Ball"** (center): Compares two primitive humanoid figures labeled "Pre-historic" and "Historic," satirizing football players as evolutionarily primitive. This reflects late-19th-century anxieties about football's brutality and the athletes who played it. **"Its Office," "Qualified," and "Suspended Payment"** (bottom): Brief humorous dialogues featuring elephants in human situations, using animal characters for social commentary—likely about business dealings or financial matters, though specific references are unclear. The page blends political and social satire typical of *Judge's* editorial approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TOO HOT FOR HIM. BRIMSTONE. Rob (to missionary)—"* How kin you git to the Lost Basin settlement? Why, take the Devil’s-fork stage to Sulphur canyon, then go down Hell-pit crick to fire buttes, then "—- . i REVEREND MACWEARY SnEPHERD (lo station-agent)—"' Wh—when is the next train east?” TO A WILD- FLOWER. DUTCHMAN'S breeches is your name, And it sounds as if you eame With the landing of the crew Hendrick Hudson brought, and grew Sturdily apace till now, That each Netherlandet’s vrouw Might rejoice in honest pride Atthe garments, full and wide As the pair her own dear man Wore on Sundays, Myoheer Van. Huge of girth and broad of beam, It would naturally seem ‘That the Knickerbocker race Would assign you fitting place On their coats of heraldry; On their crests of famil On their carriages of state On their furniture and plate ‘On their robes and on their rugs; On their poodles and their pugs. ‘They have left vou, strange to say, All unheeded till to-day ¢ But your time is near at hand, Since the bloomer “s in the land, ‘And the sons of the patron’ Will adopt you very sooa, ‘Woman wears the breeches now, ‘And i often makes a row? jut, the suffrage-bill once passe: And her flag nailed to the mast, What could better ensign be, Showing her equality, ‘Than the sturdy little fower ‘That awaits the coming hour? Dutchman's breeches, born to save ‘Woman's rights, long may you wave! MELEN CHAUNCEY. Pre-historic. ITS OFFICE. +sQKIN," said Davie, grave- ly contemplating his Ittle sister, “is jus’ an overcoat for th’ bones; that’s all.” QUALIFIED. ‘ST HIS book of de Smyth's is great. He seems to know more about women than any DED PAYMENT. ene exer fend. ELepuant—" Say, that is a bad penny you gave me!" Well, be ought Dos (just going to.jump)—"All right; just wait until you get a 0; he’s an ex-biga- mi good one." ist." Historic. EVOLUTION OF MAN APPLIED TO FOOT-BALL. “ire hill; the Devil's cave outfit will put you across Purgatory flats, and you can git the Past Redemption stage from Burning springs to Hell- WHIP-POOR- WILL. ARK! I hear the voice again, Softly now and low, When the twilight 's o'er the plain And the first stars glow. This is what it uttereth— In a rather mournful breath— ** Whip-poor-Will! Whip-poor- Will !" What has Will been doing now? Has he truant played With a sad, coquettish brow From some simple maid? Did he steal her heart away? For I hear you always say ** Whip-poor- Will ! Whip-poor-Will !" Tell me now what Will has done ~ Who's to whip him, dear? Is he some scamp full of fun That is straying near? Have you caught him at your nest By the ones you love the best ? “ Whip-poor-Will ! Whip-poor- Will !" That is all you seem to say, Little bird so shy. Tell me now, without delay, Why whip Will, oh ! why? There ! your voice fades in the lea— Leaving this command to me. “ Whip-poor-Will ! Whip-poor- Will !” MONKOK H. ROSENFELD. 2, SUSPENDED PAYMENT. ELePHant (ca/mly)—"‘All right ; I can wait!” comicbooks.com