Judge — November 21, 1896 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wage. W. J. Anxats. Bannan Gitam LM. Guncony, Editor. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATRS AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one year. or s2 numbers One copy, six months. of 26 number One copy, for thirteen weeks = Inclading the Cumisras Juocx. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries im the postal union. $0.00 a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BuiLpinc), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. SAL We guaranten advertisers a larger circulation than any other American sateré cal paper published. The jyvoe, Juvce's Linnany and Juoce’s Quantumty are all Sor sale at Brentane's, Avenue del Opera, Parts; Smith, Ainslee & Co.,25 Newcastle itrect, Strand, Lends News Co. . Chancery Lane, E. Cx Lo je International News Co. (2 NOTICE TO PURLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- ‘Angiit in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptiy and vigorously prosecuted. THE COLLEGE that suffered from a sesqui-centennial is believed to be convalescent, . sTRILBY “killed du Maurier. It looks as if * The Martian” might kill his readers, McAab00 is always heard from during a political agony, and sometimes it is McAdoo about nothing. cee THE WOMAN named Angel will put on her wings long before she gets Gould money to pay for them. eee EORGE W. CABLE has made some money out of his several narratives, but now he has started a magazine. DUNRAVEN, according to the Sun, is a half-cracked sportsman. It seems to us that the fracture is just twice as lamentable. THE WRITER who thinks there is a new and a fashionable kind of walk, which is a slow, sidewise limp, has appar- ently forgotten that there are bicycles among us, TEACHERS OF WHIST are too nu- merous and persistent. The plain, unornamented, old fashioned game is good enough. Let us remark to these too-in- dustrious gentlemen, “ Whist.” Kexrican—" St Kerrican—"* T A FEW DAYS before election the Albany Journal told of a telephone- girl who remarked quietly to a companion, “ Why, there's a mouse— the dear little thing!” It was a campaign lie. . *HE INDOR the platform, hook, line, bob and sinker,” recently rémarked the Utica Herald, A platform thus equipped for fish- ing purposes deserved to be indorsed—we feel sure of it. AN ARTIST in comic opera refuses to appear as Lady Godiva, Why should she be so particular? Lady Godiva was permitted to have no audience, and the peeping Tom of the occasion was struck blind. HAVING LOST its credit and driven its tax-payers to despair, perhaps the Spanish government had better pass the contribution-box around among the insurgents of Cuba, It really seems as if there were no other community to appeal to. A BACHELORS’ CLUB was started in Jersey City. Shortly thereafter an old maids’ club was started; and it is now given out that the former is dead, while the latter is on its last lap. This means many mar- riages, and so many mutual concessions and confessions that the various couples are in the proper state of mind to begin their lives in the right way. HE WANTED TO PUT 7HEdf TO SLEEP. Grmartix—" Phwat wor yez doin’ whin thot howli cission av Orangemin passed yure house?” Shure, I wor in rockin’ th’ baby; but Oi lift Fer phwat?" * go out an’ rock th’ Orangemin.” A GOOD MATCH. YOUNG VICTOR of Italy, who recently married a Montenegro amazon, is a very small man, is seriously lame, and is in very poor health. If, however, he can raise a mustache equal in size to those of his father and grandfather, he may be able to look as fierce as they, and that's something. ‘And if he can’t he at least has won a woman amply able to take care of him. LET US BE JUST. T IS TRUE that Chicago has not the population to warrant her enor- mous registration; but the extreme earnestness of her citizens in behalf of their convictions produces a state of things that may well be tempora- tily miraculous. We do not say that this is the case; but when the impos- sible is desired Chicago is just the place to which to make the proper application. WHITHER ARE WE DRIFTING? W HEELWOMEN wear knickerbockers which have a hip-pocket. That pocket has heretofore been sacred to the other sex. It has been'a receptacle for genuine and false pistols, the latter kind being a small vessel with an intoxicating liquid in it. This is meant for information for the wheelwomen; though there is a shocking suspicion that, even to them, it is no information. TWO BUTCHERS. THE PRISONERS of Weyler in Havana are sent every morning to the seashore to bathe, and an account says many of them fail to return and are supposed to have been eaten by sharks. The sultan has a similar way of: amusing himself and his followers in the faith.’ He chains his prisoners in gangs, loads them with weights, and tips them overboard. He is comparatively merciful, however. He omits the sharks. THE SHOOTING AT THE AIR. THE POLITICAL PRESS had great fun with Hanna, Jones, St. John, and: the other chairmen. It laughed at them, hooted at them, and dreadfully caricatured them. While it jeered them if they had no money, it charged them. with innumer- able crimes if they had. Yet, poor old boys! they were merely the agents of the several establishments, and are going to be totally innocent of all and several the predicted calamities. “UNEASY LIES THE HEAD.” VICTORIA never went shopping in her life. The question “Is life worth living?” has doubtless been considered by her very often and at great length, She has been watched and curbed from her youth up. She has had no liberty. She never slid down the bannisters, swapped gum, chewed slate-pencils, met her sweet- heart surreptitiously, had a straw-ride, whistled, or hooked pickles and ate them with reckless voracity. Is there a woman in the world who would swap places with the poor dear? MR. CRANE’S FORKED LIGHTNING. 'HE POETRY of Stephen Crane may be attributed to his protracted studies in the Tenderloin. It is so incoherent that it must-have been written at four o'clock in the morning, shortly before going to bed. It has the zig-zag of a streak of lightning and the melancholy inseparable from contact with a thunder-storm at that hour without a match or an umbrella. Walt Whitman enjoyed such things, but he was rugged. Mr. Crane is not well. Let him keep on in that way and he will presently be knocked out by his own verses. OUR VOTING RUFFIANS. HERE IS an undercurrent of heathenism among the voters of this country which almost leads one, in the heat following the late dis- turbance, to call them brutal Britishers. They attack no ladies, as is the custom of the British voter; but they are without reverence for the dignity of famous men, or for the offices they hold. Happily, however, these ex- ceptions are not dangerous, and their brutality counts for the side which they oppose, always and every time. The eggs thrown at Mr, Carlisle hatched many votes for sound money and political decency. a: pro comicbooks.co