Judge, 1896-11-21 · page 4 of 16
Judge — November 21, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century humor magazines: **"The Lover's Puzzle"** mocks a man boring everyone by constantly praising his girlfriend Peggy—the joke being his romantic obsession makes him tedious to others. **"At the Stock Exchange"** is a financial joke: a broker advises buying thermometers because "they are very low...and sure to go up"—a pun treating weather instruments like stocks. **"When Swipsey Was a Hero"** features working-class dialect humor about a man named Swipsey whose friend Mickey initially alienated him over a girl, but then publicly reconciles with him, making Swipsey feel heroic. It's sentimental working-class melodrama played for laughs. Other brief pieces include jokes about landlords, chess obsession, and premonitions. The **Ethel Barrymore** reference notes her theatrical performance in "Rosemary." The cartoons use period illustration styles with exaggerated characters. Overall, the humor targets romantic sentimentality, stock market speculation, class pretension, and everyday domestic situations—typical Judge magazine fare emphasizing clever wordplay and relatable social situations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Suage THE LOVER’S PUZZLE. F PEGGY'S charms I fain would talk With throbbing brow and eyes that glisten, Her face, her form, her voice, her walk— How strange that no one cares to listen! Even they seem bored who know her well When I on Peggy's beauties dwell. What does this mean? Can it then be That Peggy 's only fair to me? MADELINE S. BRIDGES AT THE STOCK EXCHANGE. Broker —** What would you advise me to buy to-day?” Colonel Walt Streete—" Thermometers, of course. They are very low at present, and are sure to go up.” A CRITICAL TIME. Landlord —" Well, are you going to pay me what you owe, or get out?” Woman —* Here's your money. My hus« band is playing chess with another man in the parlor, and he just told me he'd rather pay rent than move.” AN EERIE CONJECTURE. jones —“* That must have been a premoni- Copyright by B.J. Fath. Ne tion Maria had! She said something seemed to Unies TARORGE tell her that I'd be late. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. : ETHEL BARRYMOKE IN ‘* ROSEMARY.” WHEN SWIPSEY WAS A HERO. Give mea sprig of rosemary now. cape eas x Perthance in years to come Til tell you b MEAN’ Mickey ‘s allus been pards. See? oar debut atthe Empire yo gma An’ Mickey ’s a true blue, full- dress. Tae chind st waethe years I'd die fer Mickey; dat’s flat ! Y’ know me an’ me idol, dat's me gurl, “NOTHING NEW UNDER ‘s been on de outs. I persentid ‘er wid a rine- THE SUN. stun ring an’ tole ‘er it wuz dimun, an’ she SéSN'T that a funny name by which to got on an’ gimme de eye-brow. 1 wuz up t’ designate a man who wants free silver? de dance de odder nite, an’ dere wuz me Tilly I wonder how it originated,” said Maude, re- wid Nibsy Murphy. O° course ! wuz jellous ferring to the cognomen popocrat as applied an’ started guffin’ about wat sometimes hap- pens t’ peeple wat monkeys wid de ban’ wagon, We wuzn't long g'ttin’ togedder, an’ to one of that body of voters who are not quite sure of the meaning of the term “ free jes’ ez we wor nicely mixed Nibsy's brudder Chimmie cums int’ me. An’ iss’ den who silver.” “Why, Maude,” returned her literary sh’d bust int’ de hall like a war-clowd but Mickey, an’ he sez, Sail in, Swipsey ; I'm friend Ida; “do you mean to say that you don’t remember reading Holmes’s * Popocrat at the Breakfast Table?” : wid y't' de deat’! Me heart riz ez dough I'd AN ILLUSTRATED EPITAPH. DISCRIMINATION. swallered a box o' bakin’-powder, an’ I yelled 6 6QHORT life and merry,” said his friends, Huncry Swiccers —‘ How could yer tell whether “Tree cheers fer de red, white an’ blue, Ss Wich tapes at le bead and feet a man wuz livin’ ter eat, er eatin’ ter live?” an’ I felt like de dook 0’ Wellin'ton, Gee, it - Puitosoruic Pi By ther character uv his grub. ‘Thus “* burned the candle at both ends "— Ef yer see him eatin’ cold corn-bread yer kin be mighty An epitaph both apt and neat darn sure he's only eatin’ ter live.”” wuz a pos'-prandial puddin’! W'en we wuz tru’ wid ‘em de ring-leaders o’ de club trun dem out. Den Tillie cums up an’ puts her han’s round me head an’ sez, “1 wuz ony fuanin’, Swipsey.” An’ Mickey gets up on a chair an’ yells, * La Jies an’ gen'l'men, de nex’ t'ing on de program ‘Il be de livin’ pitcher, * De reonion o' Swipsey de Grate an’ de Hy- burnean princess." An’ den he crowns me lady wid de rim o° Nibsy’s dicer an’ sez in a meller- drammer woice, “Love trium- p'ant ober de Murphys.” An’ den de orkestry play'd “De konkerin’ hero,” an’ we did a waltz round de hall, I tell y’, fellahs, dere’s nuttin’ like bein’ a hero! rowan ctavrow savace, EASILY EXPLAINED. Mr. Hungerford—"\ won- der why love and war are so fre- quently associated in proverbs,”* A REASONABLE SEIZURE. = Miss Wallingford—"1 sup- Uncts: Anven—"* Sorry, son, ter deprive yer of yer feet-ball pertecters, but ez I'm thinkin’ o' dickerin’ off th’ old knee- Pose it Is because engagements sprung hoss here, they're jest th’ thing ter docter him temporarily so's ter get back my money's worth ” are common to both, comicbooks.co