Judge — November 14, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NO LOVE HERE, Curip—"'I guess I can’t do any business here.” THE LANGUAGE OF THE DAY. S¢BVERYTHING was all right,” said Wheelright, “until my wheel struck a sharp rock.” * And what did you do at this juncture?” asked Walker. * At this puncture I stopped until I could arrange a juncture.” NERVOUS. First suburbanite—* That new cook I got yesterday wat un- easy all the way out from town.” Second suburbanite—* What was the matter?” First suburbanite—" | forgot to buy her a return ticket.” OPENER, Mose Jounson—"'So all is ober betwix’ yo’ an’ Miss Washboa'd, rr. hey Ape IHarpcase—" Yais, foun’ 1 was mistaken.” Mose JonuNnson—" Whad opened yo'ah eyes?” Ave Hanpcase—"'I got a steady job." I fo't I could not lib widout her, but I THE LATEST SENSATION. N THE department of antiquities and curiosities the theatrical museum begs leave to offer an absolute novelty, secured after long research and elaborate expenditure. It is an absolutely clean play without a single suggestion of inde- cency, and it is the greatest find of the generation. It is too good for acting, but it will be preserved in manuscript and placed on exhibition, so that those who admire the drama can for a small fee stand off and contemplate the wonderful possibilities of the present age. MOST CONVENIENT. Mr. Ireland—" This book on swimming is very useful in sudden emer- gencies.” Mrs, Ireland—"\s it?” Mr, Ireland—"1 should say so. If you are drowning turn to page one WHAT WILL IT BE WORTH? Say, what will the last joke be worth— Will it be that" The first shall be last ""— Provided there will be a last? Conclusions forced on us by wags? Will it shake the whole earth, Will this jest that comes last Or bring little mirth? Be a thing with a past— Will the joy of the joker be vast? A Van Winkle with moth-eaten rags? This last joke will not be a practical one, For who will there be that will smile ? If the very last chap Gives himself the last rap, Why, the last will be hardly worth while. eon comicbooks.com ,