Judge — August 29, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A BETTER ARTICLE, SPEAKING of self-made men, a good story is told of a man familiarly known as “ Mat,” who rose from the ranks to be a high official on one of the west- ern railroads. He had occasion to show a friend through some new cars just furnished to his com- pany. They both admired the gorgeous furnishing, and the friend, drawing his hand over the initials of the road, which were embossed on the upholstery, re- marked, “T tell you what, Mat; that is an elegant mono- gram.” “ Moonagram?” said Mat. “That ain't moona- gram, you,fool! | That's ploosh.”” ee POLITICS AND RELIGION. SO YVHAT was .the reason for the resignation of Sctipps as superintendent of the Sunday- school?” L “Well, you see Scripps is a silverite, and he AKMY WORMS, couldn't consistently talk about the golden-harp busi- (Old reliable brand.) ness,” A WOMAN’S FINGER. AT BLUSH of dawn upon the seventh day, God chose with patient care his purest clay, And from it fashioned in his wondrous way, ‘A woman's finger—rosy, fair and frail ; Whose velvet touch God gave the magic power To charm with fond caress each troubled hour, Then left the charm to woman as her dower— ‘A magic wand to smooth life's thorny trail, His work complete, God sank to rest and slept, When from his black abode with stealthy step And cunning leer the crafty devil crept, And on that finger’s tip he put—a nail. Ww. Ww, ByAM ITS DIMENSIONS. oe [™ AFRAID I preached rather a long ser- mon, deacon,” said the minister, who was anxious for a word of commendation, “Oh, no, parson,” replied the honest man; “it averaged up well” aheee IT WOULDN'T OCCUR’ AGAIN “Tt may have been a trifle long, but then it ; 4 Bexnam—"' I had a close squeeze in business to-day.” was neither very broad nor very deep. Mrs, BentaM—" Your next typewriter shall be a man.” A DUTIFUL SON, Mrs. Farster—" Why don’t you take a bath once in a while?” FLowexy Firtps—" Out uv respect ter me mother. Her dyin’ words ter me wuz, ‘Hang yer clo'es on a hickery limb an’ don't go near de water’ ter swim ; an’ I never have,” DRAWING ON THE BANK, comicbooks.com