Judge — August 29, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OBNOXIOUS REMINDERS. Fatstarr FAUNTLeRoy—"' How I envy yer, pard !* Exray EDGrRTON—" In wot respec’ ?* FAtstarr FauNtieroy—'" Yer phisique, It would do away wid dis contineral song I git wid ev'ry ‘hand-out’ uv lookin’ * strong enuff! ter work.” ON THE TRAIN TO THE BEACH. he—" Too bad! Are you sure they're not on the train? He—" \'ve looked everywhere.” She—" Dear me! what can have happened?” He" They missed it, 1 suppose. ous” Isn't ita glori- She—" ut 1 don’t know what to do. shouldn't come at all?” He—" Well, would it be impossible to enjoy yourself just with me She—"\t isn’t that. 1 promised mamma we would go with Tillie and her young man. They are engaged. you know.” Suppose they IN THE MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES. antiquarian, sir? Can you read them?” T can’t read ‘em, but 1 know just what they are law joke. the goat joke, the spring-bonnet joke, the summer-girl joke, and the country-board joke. Nothing else could survive so Krerex—"*Are yo long and look so fresh.” wiape He (with a sigh)—* Yes. What luck some fellows have! ‘They find the right one “—— ‘She—" And really think I ought to go back by the next train,” He—"Oh, now, don't say that. Am I such a hate- ful monster that you're afraid to trust yourself in my care?” She—" You're not hate- ful at all; but I've known you such a little while. You've only called three times.” He—* Whose fault is that? You don’t invite me. T've walked past the house enough, and there are always other fellows there,” She—" Those are Min- nie’s beaux,” He—" Was that Minnie’s beau you stood with on the stoop the other night till near- #4 ly twelve o'clock ?” She (surprised)—" Why, how could you know?” He—‘No matter. I en- vied him, whoever he was.” She—" You wouldn't have envied him if you had known what I was—poor fellow!” He—" Poor fellow, I suppose so. But what do girls care? If they can only make aman suffer then they're happy.” She (gently)—"I hope you don’t think that of me.” He— Well, you do seem different from other girls. She—"1 am different.” He—" Oh, yes; I'm sure you are. The first night I saw you I said—at least | thought —well, I never was so struck with a girl. It’s honestly true. 1 want you to believe it.” She (archly)—“Ah, but-men always say that sort of thing.” He (earnestly) —" I don’t. I'm not like other fellows—I'm not, really.” She (sweetly)—"" No; I don’t think you are. When you were first introduced to me I had the strangest feeling—— But what cam have happened to those two, | wonder?” He—" Oh, never mind about them. You were going to say "—— She—" They may take the next train.” He—Yes, yes: of course they will. When you first met me you had a feeling—do tell me what that feeling was.” She (shyly)—" N-no; it might flatter you too much.” He (eagerly) —" It won't flatter me—I mean—tell me, please/* She—" Well, when you looked at me so—so—so "—— He—\ couldn't help it. 1 was completely carried away "—— She—* 1 thought—that is, I fancied—I—we—— But there they are! There are Tillie and Mr. Gladboy coming down the car. I am so glad! And here’s a seat just by u: He (to himself, savagely)—"* Confound them! I made sure I'd given them the slip, And now we won't get rid of them the whole day.” MADELINE © anIDGES, DIDN'T APPRECIATE COPIES. Boox-ace! Good-morning, lady. Could I sell yo a copy of ‘An Lord,’ by Scribbler 2” Miss Jacks No, suh; no, suh, Ef I cain’t git de original ahticle I doan’ want nuffin’, I've always thought so.” NO USE FOR “MINERA! Weax WaLTER—"'Say, Ben, wot's your solution uv dis gold-silver question?” Bowexy BeN—"‘Ain't got no use fer it. I hey trubble enuff workin’ up skeems how ter scrape up enuff coppers ter rush de can wid.” comicbooks.com