Judge, 1896-08-29 · page 4 of 16
Judge — August 29, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This satirical magazine page from the early 1900s contains several humor pieces typical of the era: **"Wise Boy, Davie"** and **"An Obliging Man"** are brief comic dialogues mocking pretentiousness and indifference—a man claiming he'll "move heaven and earth" actually means walking around the block; a groom says he might not attend his own wedding. **"Turned Down"** is a longer satirical poem about a dead politician attempting to bribe Charon (the mythological ferryman) with his political "pull," only to be forced to do the actual work himself—mocking corrupt politicians' inflated self-importance. **"The Bicycle in the Bible"** humorously reinterprets biblical passages to find references to bicycles, a contemporary technology, creating absurdist comedy from anachronism. **"Opposites"** and **"Another Handicap"** are brief punchlines about mismatched couples. The cartoons feature caricatures and satirical drawings typical of Judge's style. The page exemplifies how early 1900s satirical magazines used exaggeration, wordplay, and social commentary to mock politicians, pretension, and modern absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
132 uae 1 wise soy. oe AVIE, Bas aj person icneas when he says he'll move heav- en and earth?” “Oh, that jus’ means he'll walk around th’ block, or some- thin AN OBLIG- ING MAN. STINGING PHILOSOPIILY. os ON'T Witiie Wasp—"‘Ah, Sam ! there is a destiny that shapes our ends.” Sam SkeeTER—“‘Aye, Willie, and no one appreciates that fact more than the forget, public.’ George, dear,” she cooed, “that a week from to-morrow is our wedding-day.” «TL try to remember it, darling.” replied the happy bridegroom-elect, “but if I don't hap- pen to be there don’t delay the ceremony on my account. Go right ahead with it.” Photo, by Schloss, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ALICE HOLBROOK, In thee, the music of some Moorish dance Pulses again ; thy voice in song recalls The passion of the Orient; thy glance, the southern stars and alien season falls Alice, the beauty that possesses thee Is steeped i strange exotic mystery. TURNED DOWN. NE dark night Charon spied, ‘mid the turbulent throng On the adamant banks of the Styx, A corpnlent shade, shouting loudly and long, * T've a heavenly caucus to fix!” ** What ho !" cried this shade. ** Push along your old scow ; ‘That celestial * machine’ needs a * boss’ "— As he tilted the ghost of a tile on his brow, Telling Charon to ** rush him across.” Quite composed and sedate, Charon loaded his craft Till it dipped very deep, ‘twas so full ; Then remarked, ** Politician, just paddle this raft— Exercise your remarkable * pull." So the corpulent shade, with a crestfallen air, Had to ferry the spirits across. When the cargo arrived at—it matters not where— The place was supplied w = s+ HEROISM REWARDED, Rosenwaum (fervently, to the life-saver)—"*Ach! mine frent —mine noble frent— you haff its boss, saved mine dear unt only vife from a vatery grave; bud I vill reward you—I vill amply reward you LA MonTa watbeow. Rachel, led der shentleman kiss you righd on der mout’.” THE BICYCLE IN THE BIBLE, HEIR round tires like the moon.— ISAIAH iii. 18. And their wheels like a whirlwind. —IsataH v., 28. A wise king scattereth the wicked and bringeth the wheel over them.— PROVERBS xx., 26, And what saddle soever he rideth upon.— LEVITICUS xv., 9. To cause the lamps to burn con- tinually—LEvITICUS xxiv., 2. They that were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them.— MATTHEW xxv., 3. OPPOSITES. Cumso-—" Mr. and Mrs. Gazzam evidently believed that only opposites should marry. He is ugly enough to stop a clock, you know.” Cawker—" know, but what about ANOTHER HANDICAP. a i a TineD ByaRD—"' De coastin’ part of bicyclin’ is all rite. Yer don't haff ter work de pedals.” Cumso—" She 's pretty enough to Weary Watty— Ves! but yer baff ter hold on an’ steer, don’t yer?” stop a car.” comicbooks.cdm