Judge — August 22, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ABSENT, BUT NOT LOST. GHE had been shopping all day, and as she boarded a car at Fourteenth street with her arms full of bundles she was seen to hold between her pretty teeth a dime, the last piece of money she had. At the corner of Twenty-third street the car jumped the track, jolting the passengers forward and at the same time causing a spasmodic contor- tion of the pretty shopper's features. In a second all was over; the coin had disappeared and the 7on- ductor stood expectantly waiting. “I—I had the money when I got on,” she ex- plained, with an embarrassed little blush, “and | have it now; only—only, you see, I cannot get at it” And the conductor let her ride free. ARTHUR JOW. THAT CHILD. Bridget (two a. m.)—" Pat Shure, th’ baby ‘s awake agi ‘ake, is it? Shure, Oi'd rather hov awake fer it nor a christenin’ anny day afther this noight.” EVIDENTLY CONDENSED. come, git up now. ANOTHER LIE NAILED. Miss SNOFLAIKE—" Did yo" see any girls wif big feet w'ile in Chicago, Mistah Jackson ?" Mk. Jackson—"' No, Miss Snoflaike ; dat's all nonsense ‘bout dat.” Eberyt'ing else am big dar, Lut deir feet ain’ no biggah dan youahs or mine.” MIDSUMMER NIGHT. WHEN Las «lad, with a tangle of curls Al yellow and silky that hung to my knee, My nurse, in the twilight, once told me a tale Of the beautiful spirits of fountain and tree ; How the dryads with garlands of oak in their locks, And the naiads with spangles of water bedight, Came forth from the river and woodland to dance In the dew and the darkness of midsummer night, Lam taller and wiser ; my ringlets are shorn, And gone are the golden illusions of youth ; fut last night | remembered my favorite tale In the garden below and believed it a truth ; For lo! from the edge of the fountain arose A nymph ina mantle of emerald and white, Hut nearer ‘twas only a lily that raised Its cup to the stars of the midsummer night. ‘Then 1 saw in the shade of the’ mulberry-tree A fairy in crimson 2-tilt on a bough, Wut found it a rose—for the nymphs and the fays Are roses and lilies and violets now ; And once in a year they put off the disguise Of petal and leaf by the silvery light Of the mystical moon till the glory of dawn Mas ended the revels of midsummer night. girls never marry fello MINKA IRVING. Tack Pius ER MELTING WEATHER, it hot in Texas last summer?” “I should say so! It was so hot it required an expert to tell the difference between a street-sprinkler and an ice-wagon.” POWERLESS. T THE amateur artists’ exhibi- tion Briggs—* That fellow at the door had no right to take away my stick.” gs —"He was probably afraid that you would poke the 1. FIKST AND LAST SITTING. * Now be as still as a mouse and— to vent his anger in some way.” Well, a man has got Mrs, Kildugf—* Do you use condensed milk?” Mrs, Muléins— 1 think it must be condensed. There is never more than a pint and a half in a quart.” SECURING HIMSELF. Mr. OLeriMeR—" The idea of spending two dollars for a bouquet, Jack! Don’t you know that who waste their money “n them ?” It comes high, but I don’t want them to marry me.” Nd PictURes | tasen tome Me 2. FIRST AND LAST SITTING. —I will take you immediately in a satisfactory manner.” . | comicbooks.com