Judge, 1896-08-22 · page 4 of 16
Judge — August 22, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Explanation This page contains several satirical sketches typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Love and Chiromancy"** (main dialogue): A young man (Mortimer) uses palmistry as a pickup line. He initially insults a woman (Imogene) by reading her palm—claiming she lacks generosity, artistic sense, and virtue. When she objects, he suddenly reverses course, praising her beauty and sensitivity, claiming he was using a "new method." The satire mocks men's manipulative flattery and the pseudoscience of palm-reading used for romantic advantage. **"His Special Merit"** (top right): An Irish dialogue joking that a priest praised someone as "the best man that ever lived"—in their specific occupation (implying moral mediocrity but professional competence). **"Policy"** (bottom): A landlady with multiple children seeks renters; a prospective tenant, horrified at her age and number of offspring, agrees to any price to escape. **"An Open Trap"** (left): A street scene of urban deception (likely advertising fraud). The humor targets romantic deception, pseudoscience, and social hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Photo. by Sarony. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. DOROTHY MORTON. One voice may sing us many songs, ‘And yet be ever sweet So beauty. that to change belongs, role seems meet. ce before is Encore? LOVE AND CHIROMANCY. Imogene —" Vo you know 1 am studying pal- mistry 2" Mortimer—" No!" Let me take your hand inter —"* With the deepest joy.” Oh, it’s purely professional, Let me see. Well (with a bantering impulse), the life- line isn’t very long. I'm afraid, really, you won't live to be forty.” Mortiner—" Dear me!" Imogene — The heart -line isn’t good, either, I — really, according to this, you haven't much heart.” “m sorry. AN OPEN TRapP. Use et, b’gosh ! 3. Wirtraker —"* By gum! Thet’s bunco right on th’ face of Mortimer (insinuatingly) — did have, till I lost it to "— Imogene —" Bend your thumb. How queer! but I can’t be mistaken, You lack will-power and energy dreadfully.” Mortimer—* Come, now” Imogene —" Close your fingers. I hate to tell you, but it doesn’t look as though you had any generosity or largeness of soul. Let me see the base of your thumb. How sur- prising! You are almost devoid of artistic perceptions; you are hard and narrow, cold and "—— Mortimer—"\ say "— Imogene —* It's dreadful, but it’s all right here in your hand. You have no high ideals; your aims are low. You are treacherous and — yes, malicious and hot - tempered and tyrannical, and "—— Mortimer — "You little” Imogene (Semurely)—" 1 would not believe it, but Kenker's s 1s infallible. I'm shocked!" Mortimer (with a sudden in spiration) —" Kenker? Why, he's obsolete ; he’s superseded. There's a later and better authority that I've impudent tem HIS SPECIAL MERIT. hat did Father Malone say to yez at confissions this marnin’ Fiyns —*' He sid he thought Oi wuz th’ besht mon ed.” Mrs. FLYNN —** Thot ivir lived 7” been studying. Splendid system ! Mx. FLYNN —"* In my line. Give me your hand. Not the palm, Mrs. Fuvnn—"In yoor line?” * Mr. FLYNN —'* Vis—since Ananias.’ you know, but the back. Imogene — The idea!” Mortimer—* W's the new method. pered and "— Imogene — What nonsense !” Mortimer. 's right here in your nand, And sympathetic and noble-minded and tender- hearted and talented and brilliant and profound "— Imogene — Do stop !" Mortiner— And beautiful. Beautiful as an angel! And intensely fascinating. I see many other equally charming qualities, but | will pass on to your future life, which I see written here in glaring lines.” Imogene —" How absurd! As though you could tell” Mortimer—"\ can, by the new method. dition, You will be married within "— Imogene —" Pshaw !" Mortimer—* Within a short time. Let's see. Ah} you are gentle, gracious, sweet-tem- You will not remain long in your present con- You see that small freckle on the third knuckle? that I read clear indications concerning your future husband, medium height, brown hair and blue eyes and a dark mustache ° Imogene (seeking to withdraw her hand)—" Such foolishnes: In He is of POLICY PROSPECTIVE. ROOMER (dubiously)—"* Vo" say yo" have childrun, How old?” Laxpizpy—"* One is foah, one eleben, | am forty-foah myself.” ProsPecTive ROOMER —"* Fo’ Gawd’s sake, madam, gif me de room an’ name youah price.” comicbooks.cor