Judge — August 15, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RIVALRY. H, SUMMER girl, with frill and lace And frock of every shade and hue, To practice Cupid’s art and grace ‘And conquer man is your just due, But, dear, alas! ‘tis sad to state, A tival now disputes your sway ; For years you were a tempting bait— Ah, me ! sweet maid, you've had your day. ‘The girl with mannish garb and stride Who owns a wheel now reigns serene; Your former flame rides by her side And you are left to blush unseen. Go buy a" bike,” if you would hope To enter in the lists once more. Learn how to “* scorch" and do not mope, Or you will never make a score. And yet, perhaps, there are a few Who still love dainty woman's ways And find more charm, my dear, in you ‘Than in the present “craze.” GRACE NovEs s1RAD, NOTHING MEAN ABOUT HER. Mabel—" Emily steams her husband's letters open every chance she gets.” Maude—" Ob, well, she isn’t mean about it. She seals them up again and never blows him up.” 1, Ye farmer giveth to his son ye little pigge. A DOUBTFUL REPLY. Motuer.1n-Law—" Did Mary tell you that I always sent you a kiss whenever she wrote to you?” Son-1N- “Ob, yes; and it was a great comfort to me—while I was away.” ADVANTAGE OF CELERITY. ¢6] SUPPOSE, colonel,” said the new woman, “that you found prompt and expeditious movement of the greatest moment in military manceuvres "—— Colonel Bloodgutter—"\ should say, ma'am! What kept Shuhman frum ketchin’ us foh two yeahs, ma‘am?" 2, Ye merrie boye buildeth a penne for ye little pigge. 4. And after ye pigge groweth melancholy more and more each daye and leaveth not his penne ye boye puzzleth, ye 5. Ye sire puzzleth. An idea! He getteth ye axe; he breaketh ye penne. 3. He feeds ye pigge; ye pigge waxeth fat and happy.