Judge — June 20, 1896 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage FATHER C EAP-YEAR ‘s swung around again, All ye single maidens, then, Listen to my warning voice— Make full soon your loving choice. Use your privilege aright : Ask the hand of some brave knight ; Offer him a faithful wife ; Cheer and bless his lonely life. But ere ‘ninety-six is past Let the troth be hard and fast ; For there'll be no leap-year more Until nineteen hundred four. CAROLYN WRLLS. BOTH DEAD. . “HAWKINS, received a notice from the city the other day to come around and get a new license for his dog, as the old permit had expired.” “ What did he do?” “He wrote back that so had the dog.” THE NEW EQUIPMENT. NEW church was being put up in A—. One of the villagers sauntered in, and com- ing out later said, “Such new names for old things! We used to have just aisles and a choir. Now a church, it seems, has a navel, two biceps, and a asp, accordin’ to them architects in there.” A GOOD PRESCRIPTION. 6s P)OCTOR,” said he, “I'm a victim of insomnia. I can’t sleep if there’s the least noise—such as a cat on the back fence, for instance.” “This powder will be effective,” replied the physician after compounding a pre- scription.” “When do I take it, doctor?” THE SWEETEST OF ALL. WEET things there are, A day in June is sweet ; An evening star; A téte-d-18te complete. In coziness—a dress ; A village maid ; A beauty in distress ; A midnight supper laid For two who love, But no sweet will or can Exceed the sugar bliss Of girls who kiss— Each other and adore ‘The self-same man. WHY SHE WAS wa MEAN. = Es oN Jess—" When Twas NYS a little girl 1 had a doll - filled with sawdust.” Jack—"And 1 sup- pose you formed the habit then of taking the waist for a pin-cushion.” BEYOND REDEMPTION. Weary Witt! Bowery Src ‘Actually gone ter work, has he 2” Weary WiLLIE— soap-factory.”” A FLAT BUILDING. HE yap from the rural dis- tricts was gazing at one of yr, New York's up-town sky-scrap- What’ he || 08 PULL. ers. ‘ What's that house?” he TEETH EXTRACTED “A flat building,” responded the copper without waste of lan- guage. The yap’s eyes slowly as- cended from the sidewalk to the far-away cornice. “Well, by gravy!” he ex- claimed. “If you call that a flat building I'd like to see what you call a tall one.” A DIPLOMAT. S6YVJHICH do you think is Ww stronger, Mr. Fleecy— love or duty?” asked the old maid, “It depends to a consider- IN THE (JUNE) GLOAMING. able extent, Miss Fading, on Question —" Fit?" whether you live in New York Avswer—" No; June-bug.” or Chicago.” “You don’t take it, You give it to the cat, in a little mill —"" Ves ; ol” Ragsey ‘s lost all sense uv shame an’ committed moral suicide ” KNEW HIS BUSI- NESS. *\/JHO is that man Ww who is explain- ing all about the correct use of the bicycle?” “Ob, he’s one of our most prominent experts.” “Ab, an expert rid- er?” “No—er—an expert talker.” PALPABLE CON- TRADICTIONS. Trivet— Ours is a very contradictory lan- guage.” Dicer—" Go on.” Trivuet—" The term +a sad dog’ usually means a particularly gay chap.” Dicer—" Iedoes; and when you say a man isa If dat wuz all I could fergive ‘im; but he’s actually gone ter work in a Corker you really mean that he is an uncorker.” asked of a passing policeman, —]wirvour_PAIN 25¢| A GENUINE. CONNECTICUT "* YANK.” comicbooks.com