Judge, 1896-05-16 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 16, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical sketches typical of early 20th-century humor magazines: **"He Felt Better"**: A young man's first silk hat purchase boosts his confidence so much he walks differently. **"Education"**: Jokes about Jenkins' intelligence stemming from raising five boys, and mothers-in-law's influence on matrimonial magazine readers. **"Apropos"**: A beach scene where a man smokes a pipe; his companion suggests naming it "Samson," he responds "Samson?"—likely a wordplay joke about the pipe's strength or durability. **"Got Out"**: A woman reveals her "secret marriage" was actually served divorce papers publicly. **Other sketches** include cricket commentary, spring romantic impulses, an awkward engagement question about selecting pallbearers, a deathbed request for doughnuts/bacon/cabbage (humorous anticlimax), and a child's innocent question about whether a "standing committee" ever sits. The humor relies on incongruity, social observation, and period-specific references.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE FELT BETTER. ane Chappie buys a new silk hat for the first time, uage EDUCATION. oe HAT a formed man Jen- kins seems to be! He can converse in- telligently upon al- most any subject.” “Yes; Jenkins has brought up five boys.” HE mother-in- law is the po er of the matri- monial magazine which inspires would-be purchas- ers with awe. APROPOS. HEY were stroll- ing along the beach one sultry afternoon when the thermometer was agitated to a high degree, in glaring contrast to the calm over all else. Even the conversation lulled into a word less nightmare,and, as though driven to desperation, he drew forth his meerschaum, puff ing in vindictive si- lence, At this crisis his companion said demurely, “It is quite the rage now to christen pipes; why not name yours?” And he answered languidly, “What shall I call it—Samson ?” GOT OUT. Mrs. Penns— So their marriage was secret?” Mrs, Laker—“Alas! yes; but the divorce-summons was served by publication.” ROAST <wcxen f il “fi ain ** Tol’ on dere, boss! move dat sign ‘fore de rest uv de nine in’ roast frum de umpire, de g CArratn (of the ‘Take my advice an” s here Dey've bin stan’, de bleachers an’ de sun fer two hours, De score wuz forty'ter tree.” When on the avenue he feels that all eyes are upon him — Yais ; ez a gen'leman—no costume, —'* In dat case yo'll be thoro'ly disguised. HER REQUEST. —and when the wind blows his hat away — SPRING MADNESS. [vs nice to reckon every spring Mow many men deserve our pity. For instance, some are moved to sing And others moved to Jersey City. AN UNCALLED-FOR QUESTION. Winebiddle—V am go- ing to be married.” Tillinghast —" Who is the fortunate lady?” Winebiddle —* Miss Tillinghast —* Selected your pall-bearers yet?” AEAS! that death should come. The tiny clock upon the dresser ticked a low farewell, and in answer to its quick vibration a hushed voice whispered, “Father, I have a last request to make. For days no food has touched my lips and I am growing fainter—weaker. Come near- er while 1 ask—you will not fail me?” and as the stricken man took her hand reassur- ingly she faltered, “1 want a doughnut and some bacon and some cabbage.” VERY NATURAL INQUIRY. Pastor (reading notices) —"The standing committee will please remain after the services.” Edith (aged six) — “Mamma, doesn’t that com- mittee ever sit down?” —he no longer feels conspicuous and continues his prome- nade in comfort, comicbooks.com