Judge — May 9, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage UP TO DATE, Elder Berry—" Job- lots has started out to bring the parables up to date.” Mrs, Berry—" Made much progress?” Elder Berry— Only one, so far—'I Il go you ten to one that the mote in my eye is bigger than the beam in yours.” HER HOBBY. Cobwigger—" What? Another day wasted, and you haven't found a place to move to yet Mrs. Cobwigger— * Really, Henry, T haven't seen one suitable house.” Cobwigger—* House? AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE. Why, from your talk you seem to have been lookin: for nothing but closets.” Westerner (asa York-state poreder-mill blows up, two rods away) ‘Ha! that's a reg'lar good ole rip-snortin’ Dakoty breeze, I reckon k I'd clear out fer Dakoty A few more like that would git me so humsi agin.” Photo. by Chickering. FAVORITES, MARY HAMPTON, Gone the noble cavalier, Yet his ladye-love 1s here, In your grace surviving. Art, of chivalry it Rallies knights where'er you visit, ‘or your favor striving ? z A NEW READING. School-teacher—" Tommy, you may answer th question, * Eternal vigilance is the price of what?" Tommy —* Holding your job.” WESTERN WINDS. WEET western winds, that drift from out the heart Of that far region toward the setting sun Where men have seized dear victories hard won, Your warm caresses make my pulses start, And sweep away the noisy city’s mart. ‘The harvest c is thine, oh, golden west, And in thy fullness all the earth is blest, For nature's benison is more than art. Blow, western winds, across those fertile lands, And waft thy fragrant breath in crowded streets Where sordid traffic all its strife repeats ‘That gold may tickle many greedy hands ; Thy gentle air shall breathe of happier days, And hope shall smile on yet untrodden ways. der pitcher call ‘im old man,” “AP-YEAR INCIDENT. ast bought a bicycle built for two.” * Oh, George, this is so sudden !” HONORING A RECOGNIZED PROF! Jisaue How is it, Mick, dat ‘Cos he's got base-ball fingers on Mick—"* Naw ! he useter be de water-boy fer de New Yawks, an’ two er t'ree er de gang heered SSIONAL, all of Empire O'Brine’s decishins seems ter go widout er scrap? r ONE POOR WRETCH. TIE flowers that come with the spring are in bloom, And the most of the people are pleased, we presume, But the boarder now heaves a significant sigh— They are feeding him largely on dried-apple pie. nem A TERRIBLE SUSPICION. Howson Lott —“All the women around here this spring seem to be wearing their bloomers when they work in the garden.” Mrs. Howson Lott —" Oh, George, is that what you meant when you said you were just wandering around the neighborhood to look at the different kinds of garden-hose?” IN QUARANTINE, 8 SV HEN my ship comes in it will be well manned,” Said she, “and freighted with cargo.” “I'm a man.of-war, Do I understand, Said he, that I'm under embargo?” “There's no embargo upon the marine,” She replied to his banter courageous ; “But I've held you, sir, in quarantine, Fearing love as a fever contagious.” comicbooks.com