Judge, 1896-05-09 · page 7 of 18
Judge — May 9, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humorous sketches typical of late 19th/early 20th-century American satire: **"What's in a Name?"** mocks immigrants with difficult surnames—a judge questions a peddler's name "Moses Grrrzzvppdsiksky," implying ethnic stereotyping and xenophobia common in the era. **"The Spring Poet"** satirizes romantic poets by showing one relegated to domestic chores (shaking carpets) rather than composing verse—a commentary on the impracticality of artistic pursuits. **"And So It Was"** and **"To Be Handled With Care"** are mild observational humor about children and household situations. **"A Genius"** jokes about a corset manufacturer inventing new model names—satirizing commercial invention over genuine innovation. **"A Song of This Spring"** contrasts spring beauty with practical hardship (children falling through ice), typical of Judge's sardonic tone. **"The Observation of a Four-Year-Old"** presents innocent childhood logic—a child disappointed her apple turned "rusty" overnight. The overall tone reflects period attitudes toward immigrants, social class, and domestic life through quick, often crude humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“WHAT'S IN A NAME?’ Junce—" What is your name?” * Moses Grrrrzzvppdsiksky.”” Jupce —" What's the matter- have you got a fit?" PEDDLER—"* Naw ; dot’s me name,” THE SPRING POET. [7S s34 to see the vernal bard No longer is a star pet ; Ilis wife now has him in the yard Achelping shake the carpet. AND SO IT WAS. Teacher —* Tommy, are you chewing gum?* Tommy—" No, ma'am.” Teacher" What are you do- ing, then?” Tommy. wallerin’ it.” TO BE HANDLED WITH CARE. Bridget —S strawberries, mun Mrs. Hillaire—* No. since he left Vale. Mus, PRAISAL Oi hull the Ms. ONLYs« Mrs. OnxLyson it, will ye?” Son—** No, si THE OLD oN: A GENIUS. —" Ves, Jack 's made quite a reputation as an inventor Tow charming! What is his line?" Thinking up new names in a corset manufactory.” NECESSARY CONDITION: Tue oLp one—" Ef I gives ye some money ter spend while ye be in New York ye won't go to no dance-halls or gamblin’-places, or drink champagne with * Wacal, then here's a dollar, an’ mind ye keep yer word.” A SONG OF THIS SPRING, Ho’ light the merry sleigh-bells tin; Across the drifted snow ! While in the apple-orchards swing The boughs with blooms aglow. Tow graciously the lilacs len Across that path of ice! We've got our summer shirt-waists on Because the fire 's so nice. The children went to slide to-day Where yonder ponds begin, And then the lightning struck the ice And so they all fell in, YLORENCE X. PRATT. THE OBSERVATION OF A FOUR-YEAR- OLD. MAkion had escaped surveil- lance for, perhaps, two consec- utive minutes while her “ nightie” was airing, and made inroads into a luscious greening almost as large as her own precious head. She ob- jected decidedly to relinquishing the prize, but finally a compromise was effected which left it on the window- I want them served so that they can be eaten sill in plain sight of her crib till morning. 1 was awakened at daylight by ‘They cost too much yet to be swallowed by a tearful little voice at my bedside saying, “Just see, papa! My apple is all rusty.” separately fom the fingers. the spoonful.” DECEPTIVE, “* Dat Miss Virginny Snowball has got de smailes’ feet in Just then Miss Snowball held her train up, (Zab/eau.) comicbooks.com