Judge — May 9, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SPRING IDYL, | HAVE not heard a robin's song, Nor seen a bursting bud ; I look upon the landscape— Just dreary wastes of mud. The poor old organ-grinder Risks not his life nor limb ; ‘The man who always grinds for us— We've got the grind on him! SAVED. +¢MY REPUTATION is gone forever!" The new-woman weather- prophet wrung her hands in agony as she gazed out of the window at the early morning sky and saw that the day was going to be bright and clear. It seemed hard to be cast into oblivion in company with the great weather-predictors of Hohokus and Yaphank just when success was within her grasp. For years she had stud- ied the heavens, wrestled with Weather-maps and pored over old almanacs, until at last she felt herself competent to represent the new woman among professional forecasters. Her first prediction, although a cor- rect one, brought her neither fame nor wealth; but when she followed it up a few days later by forecasting an unexpected blizzard she saw her name blazoned forth in the newspapers, and letters of congratu- lation poured in from all parts of the country. Flushed with success, she made a third guess and predicted a storm — the most frightful one within the recollection of man. This forecast she had sent to all the papers, and when she woke up on the fateful morning and found that a calm, peaceful day was just dawning she NO RUL! BROKEN, RouxpsMan (to new officer)—"* Don't you know you have no business in a saloon except to make an arrest?” Orricer Casky—" Begorra! Oi'm a-restin’ mesilf, ain’t Oi?” DISCOVERED, LZ SRE Tomsty—“'I know why you like sister Bertha —‘cause she wants you to marry her ! AN OLD CONTRIBUTOR. CuERK (of court)—“ Thomas Hammond, alias Spike Hammond, alias Sliver Hammond, alias Ham the Mick, alias fam the Lush, alias Sloppy Weather, how do you plead to this indictment?” Mr. HamMonD (deeply injured)—"* Yer honer, I submit dat dat indictment is outrageously defective. literary non-de-plumes.”” Half uv dem names ain't’ aliases et all; dey’s simply me screamed forth in her agony, “ My reputation is gone forever!” “What's the matter?” cried her hus- band, jumping out of bed and hurrying to her side. “ Look out in the street,” she sobbed. “You know I predicted the greatest storm of the century for to-day. I will be a laughing-stock.”” “ Perhaps it isn’t as bad as all that,” he replied. “Ob, yes, it is," she returned. “I sent the forecast to all the papers. You remember I gave you the letters to mail.” Her husband breathed a sigh of relief. He went to his coat-pocket and fished out a bundle of letters. “Forgive me, my dear,” he pleaded. “ [forgot to mail them.” 4, ),o'coxneut. A USELESS QUESTION. THE VistTor. ** Is your. father home ?” THE ELDEst—"' D'ye tink I'd be smokin’ if the old man was at