Judge — May 2, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

293 MAY FIRST. WE PACKED up the books, Arms aching, Backs breaking. Care taking To fill all the nooks, With terrible touse, Jill crying. ack sighing, ust flying, We cleared out the house. And now it is done ; Tt may have been fun— T would not be one To say. As the householder’s wife, In the thick of the strife, ‘The dread of my life Is May, And in this connection I make this reflection, “ Don't talk resurrection ‘To me", iN For when, with bones aching, My rest I'am taking HOW THE BLACKVILLE HANDICAP WAS WON. : T want no awaking 1, THE TRAINER (just before the start)—" Now, Johnson, yo" de two-hundred-yards man, Doan’ let none ob dem To see. scratch men git yo' in a pocket.” MEANS OF IDENTIFI- CATION. Se ARE these your clothes or mine?" asked the athletic man of his wife. “Look in the hip-pocke s If it’s smelling-salts ; if it’s brandy they're IN SUSPENSE, Tom —" Did you ask Jess to set the day?” Yes; and she set it for Tom—" Why to-morrow?” Jack (sadly) —" She said it was because * to-morrow never comes.’ COMPOUND PROFITS. Skinner—" | just sold the last of those suburban houses I put up.” Weaver—" What are you go- , : ing to do with all the money?* % Tos tsiehs) Johaton’ eins very Sey: Skinner—"lovest it in quinine and sell it to the pur- chasers of the houses as soon as they have caught the ma- laria.”” BEFORE UNCLE WAYBACK GOT CALLED DOWN. ONE FISH, SIX BOARDERS. ** Waval, of ail th’ contrary critters these Vorkers air th’ beat! BoarDING-misTREss—** What is that dice-box and dice for, Bridget?" Thar hain’t one on ‘em but had ter pay a dollar ‘n'a half ter git New sexvant—"Oh, mum, Oi thort mebbe th’ boorders wuz goin’ t’ chuck t’ see which inter this grand-stand, an’ blest ef they hain't all settin’ down.” wan wud git it.”