Judge, 1896-05-02 · page 4 of 16
Judge — May 2, 1896 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from *Judge* magazine contains several short satirical vignettes mocking middle-class social conventions and marital dynamics circa early 1900s. **Key sketches:** - **"Man's Thoughtlessness"**: A husband transfers his bank account to avoid his wife's access, then opens a new one earning interest—the joke being his self-centered obliviousness to her emotional hurt. - **"An Ill Wind"**: A man brags that moving to suburbs will make "someone happy"—the seller, because the buyer overpaid, satirizing suburban real estate deals. - **"Very, So Cholly"**: A man won't congratulate an engaged couple because he doesn't know either party well enough—mocking superficial social etiquette and its absurdities. - **"Almost Paradise"**: Neighbors are praised for having a "tongue-tied" child and silent rockers—satirizing the desire for quiet, well-behaved neighbors. The humor targets petty bourgeois anxieties: money management, social climbing, marital tension, and neighborhood propriety. The tone is gently mocking rather than vicious.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
RECIPROCATED. ITHOUT words she doth confess Her love for me — Her sweet eyes do express leo. d. AN ILL WIND. Crawford— Well, your moving to the suburbs will make one person happy.” Howson Lott—" Who's that?” Crawford— “The man you bought the house from.” VERY. *S° CHOLLY Vitevie is going to be mar- ried ?* nt in your congratulations ?” Copyright by B. J. Fath. “No; fact is I JUDGE'S FAVORITES don’t know the girl, BLANCHE MASSEY. so I can’t congratu- Stately and fair as the bride of an earl, late him; and I do wld dash of the Bowery pear” . Hair in the biondest profusion of curl, know him, so I can’t Gown that just floats in a radiant swith congratulate her. = Who could fesist you? None but a churl— : : Gaiety, Gaiety, Gaiety Girl! Deuced awkward. VERY WII Sux—** You smell horribly of stale tobacco, sir. MAN'S THOUGHTLESSNESS. He—" Lam very sorry, dear, I will light a fresh cigar directly, love.” Mrs. Marchand (looking at cheque) —" I see you have opened another HAPPY LITTLE BIRDS. bank-account, Mervyn.’ ese cys or i ingi Mr. Marchand— No; Uhave transferred my old one to the Union Fair visitor (to convict)—" I suppose, sir, that the singing of the nationals that’s all.” birds relieves the monotony of your dreary life "Nea. Micckoadic#Wikok toc Convict (profoundly nonplussed)—“ The singing of the birds, miss?” Mr, Marchand—" Because it is now paying interest on average daily Dale wanton Ves, sj the Utike fallebires, joel Kaos “Rey stiuse deposits subject to cheque. It will mean several hundred dollars a year ¢ Such a comfort to you. to us,” Ars. Marchand (tearfully) Just as I had got decently acquainted ALMOST’ RARADISE. with the teller at the First and could depend upon his always giving me Airs, Cobwigger—" How is the family in the next fla nice new bills! It's very thoughtless of you.” Mrs, Hilaire —" | couldn't ask for better neighbors. ‘Their little boy is tongue-tied and they use only noiseless rockers. A MISCOMPR 5 A CONUNDRUM. Miss Lipson (complimentarily) —** s ude appears berry tchic toe-naht." Orricer—"*Oi'd loike ter know whether thot mon be drunk or be just DrACON FOWLER (not up in French)—"" Deed he does, Lipson. He learnin’ ter appears wid one mos’ ebbery naht whain dey's no moon shinin’, comicbooks.com