Judge — April 25, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\ HI < A CRISIS. POPULAR SONG ADAPTED TO POKER. ‘Tue juncE (inexorably)—"* Either put that worm on the hook, Miss Bloomer, or go back “Just tell them that you ‘saw’ me.” to dresses.” HIS THEORY. Po PUZZLE OF THE «t DAVIE,” Edith ask- mead 3 { DOG-SHOW. ed,“ why do folks as comb their heads?” “Huh!” Davie look- ed at his sister with an expression of pity. “ Why do folks rake their gar- dens? T’ make th’ hair grow, little goose.” LADY unaccustomed to aristocratic dogs attended the dog - show. Looking at a rare canine, and not wishing to expose her ignorance, she whis- Pered to her companion, “Tell me, which end of that dog is his head on?” THE DAY WAS y f OVER. Y ; A DRAWBACK. SOWHY, Frances, | \ \ r ‘ Mrs. Hobnobs—"1 dear,” said mam- \ f shall have to try another ma, “don’t you know it's French maid; this one Sunday? You mustn't won't do.” get out your playthings.” Hobnobs —* What's “Oh, it’s night now,” WHAT SHE WANTED. D the matter with her?” replied little Frances. Mr. Iexrec—* Do you see anything wrong with this hat ?* Mrs. Hobnobs—"The . Atte Hits FrienD—"* No; why?" “De Lord's done wiv his “* Well, when T wear that hat my wife is always kicking at it.” baby is picking up a dis- day.” * Well, it’s plain she wants you to get her a position in the ballet.” tinct Irish brogue.”* BOTH LISTENED. Badmin reat time we had last night, old man, wasn’t it? Did you have any trouble in getting your wife to listen to your excuses for being home so late?” Jagsley—" Oh, no; notatall. She listened all right and then "—— Badmin —" Well, what then?” Jagsley —" Ob, 1 just listened to her, that's all.” JOHNNY'S AN- SWER. Teacher—* What boy in the class can give me the past tense of migrate? Well, Johnny, I see you have your hand up, What is it?” Johnny—"My gracious !” . EVERY human heart 1. THE WRONG HEAD, is the dwelling Jo! who has a bite)—"*T'll yank that eel out ina minute Place of at least one 2. THE WRONG HEAD, so quick it'll make his head swim.” (Steish— strong desire, —crack fy