Judge, 1896-04-25 · page 3 of 18
Judge — April 25, 1896 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 273 This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"Unaccountable"** shows a woman (Mrs. Millyuns) asking her husband about missing money, suggesting financial irresponsibility or marital discord over household accounts. **"A Noonday Tilt on the Section"** depicts working-class men in comic dispute, likely satirizing labor disputes or working-class conflicts of the era. **"Reward of Thrift"** is a poem mocking a miserly man who hoarded pennies but gained nothing in life—social commentary on excessive frugality. **"The Precise Reason"** features an Edinburgh lawyer and schoolboy discussing why the boy can't keep still, suggesting class differences in discipline and education. **"Appropriate"** shows Saint Peter with figures in heaven, a religious joke about appropriate heavenly accessories. The page emphasizes domestic, class, and moral humor typical of early 20th-century American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGMENTS FROM MR. MCGARVEY. Con DINSED milk—One taste t’ th’ quar-rt. It’s, a felly’s timper he'd niver lose if he had no patience. It’s most anything at all they call nobility across th’ say. Faith, if Christmas come in th’ summer it’s th’ merrier “twould be for th’ poor. Divil a bit av chin-whiskers do some fellies git only on th’ top av their hids. It's th’ wrong koind av po- loiteniss intoirely thot lades a sickly felly t’ shtand on his wake little hoind ligs t’ give a strong, hilthy woman a sate. It's mesilf thot shot a duck once a floyin’ over me hid, an’ down came both ligs an’ a ton av fithers, an’ th’ crature flew aff unharmed. Thot's loike th’ offices in politics. Par-raties alone won't sup- port loife, It’s me daughter thot rid th’ same in th’ Ladses’ Own Paper. Arrah! thin it’s mesilf thot must ‘ve doied two years before Oi lift ould Oireland. DAVID MH. TALMADGE, Mr, MILLYUNs —"* No. Mrs. MILLYUNs —“ That looks strange, A NOONDAY TILT ON THE SECTION, Reacax —“If Oi were you, Dutchy, Oi'd brish thot floy aff me nose.” Dutcity—" Ha-ha! ish dot so? Mebbe you prush id off you'sel’ best; id’s nearer to you vot it APPROPRIATE. Saint Peter—" What are you bringing that for? Go back and get the gentleman a jew's-barp.”” \ SSP < —, a Pelli \ 1a v a Bey SS <= s Win = “ERTS * UNACCOUNTABLE. Ms, MILLYUNS —"' Has the count asked you for any money yet ?” You don't suppose he's bogus, do you ?* REWARD OF THRIFT. HE COUNTED his pennies and piled up his dollars ; He never took time for a rest. He scoffed at stiff wristbands and scouted at collars ; He said he would feather his nest. The plainest of food he would take for his dinner ; ‘The alms that he gave they were small, Now that he is gone his heirs say the old sinner Left nothing to mention at all. A tomb that is marble surrounds the remains of ‘The thrifty old chap snug and nice ; But the nephews and nieces who thrive on the gains of ‘The dead man, they kick at the price. Moss eatueR THE PRECISE REASON. AN EDINBURGH lawyer was given to swearing. One night his small boy was sitting by him, studying arithmetic, The father broke out, “ What on earth ails you? Why can’t you sit still—wrig- gling and writhing every minute ?” “It's all your fault,” blubbered the boy. * Why is it?” "Cos I asked you last night how much a billion was and you said it was ‘a d— lot.’ The teacher asked me the same question to-day and I said the same thing. And that's why I can’t keep still.” ‘A CIVIL ENGINEER,