Judge — March 28, 1896 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

udge 207 A MARCH OBSER- VATION. IT IS the meanest month of all In the hull year's lot, When the sun perduces mud, But it never shines hot ; When a thawy sort o' freeze In the air abides, An’ the symptoms of disease Stir our shiverin’ insides. DIDN'T KNOW THE “CRITTER.” Yet nothin’ is so bad but What it might be worse, Which is why I'm tryin’ hard For to write this verse : For I've al’ays noticed this— An’ it gives me cheer— If I git through March, W'y, I stan’ it all the year, Mrs. CRORE ARCHIBALD, FIXED. CHoLty Weeirs—* What's the matter, old man— broken down?” BILL BikER—"* No; I have one of those new combina- tion locks and I have forgotten the combination numbers.” A SURPRISING EFFECT. LITTLE JANE, aged six, was a terror for asking questions. A neighbor died and Jane wanted to go in and see the remains. She solemnly agreed to ask no questions. When she came home her mother 1. Cayuse Pete was easily the king of bucking-bronco riders— THE RIGHT WORD. 44 ARE we too original in our costumes?” Asked the bicycle-girl; “* what say you?" “Well,” said he, ** perhaps that is not quite the word ; How would aboriginal do* said, “ Did you keep your promise?” “ Did you say anything?” “Lonly just said I should not suppose-that just losing the judge's soul out of him would have made such a change in his looks.” MARRIAGE IN THE FOUR HUNDRED. Number sixty-four—* You don't mean to say that you want to marry Perry Kissum Brisket!” Number sixty.five— Why not, mamma?” a Number sixty-four — He's entirely out of the 2-—but his pride took a fall when . " - i i 4 rd question. He has never been divorced. ee ee em s TOO BUSY INSIDE. fe SS YVHAT was the cause of the suspension of the paper published in the prison?” iS “The editor couldn't get out to push the circulation.” NEW MUSICAL PRODIGY. #6 YVHAT do you think? A new prodigy has been dis- covered in Berlin.” “Is that a fact? What in heaven's name can it be?” “Just think of it! A fourteen-year-old girl has been found who cannot play on the pian CAUSE FOR DISSATISFACTION. Uncle Gitchrist— | am tired and sick of these encyclo- padias—tired and sick of ‘em. I paid seventy-five dollars for the set of ‘em, and I'd sell ‘em for ten. I'll send ‘em back to the publishers to-morrow.”” Niece—" Why, uncle; what is the matter with the ency- clopedias?” NGATeN ORM ILIS WORDS Uncle Gilchrist — Mauer? Why, 1 want to know “* You said if 1 gave you a breakfast you'd put in an hour's work on that Something about the Caesars and I can’t find a word on the w and you've done nothing.” subject. The encyclopadia ignores the whole kit of ‘em.” Houncry Hoxe (deeply injured) —"Nothin’, mum? Uve bin a-calkerlatin’ how many ‘Niece— Have you looked, uncle?” horse-power it ‘ud require ter saw dat hall pile, countin’ two hundred teet’ ter de saw an’ each ge ie: 5" toot’ wid a muscular resistance uv one chawergramme. Mebbe yer don't know it, but brain Uncle Gilchrist—" Looked? Of course | have looked work ‘s de hardes’ kind uv work, lady.” I've been through every page of the s's.”