Judge — January 18, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UP TO DATE. Say ! how does dis your fancy strike, It's all right, Petey, and it goes. To see us hobos ona bike? We're gents, you see dat by our clothes, De fact is, we are paid a stake Now let us give it to you straight : Just for to advertise dis make. Dis here is tramping, up to date. ONE WOMAN’S TRIAL. HE new woman was deathly sick. She had thrown herself in an easy-chair near an open window, where she could catch the cool air. Her face was ashen pale, cold beads of perspiration stood out upon her brow, and ever and anon a convulsive movement shook her frame. As she reclined there in a state of utter collapse, with her dainty handkerchief pressed against her lips, even one of the opposition faction of the club she belonged to would have felt sorry for her. é “This is dreadful,” gasped the new woman. “I always thought that to be seasick was the worst feeling one could experience, but this is worse. Ah, me! this is what it is to be born before one’s time. My mother could have saved me all this if she had brought me up. properly; but she was hide-bound by tradition and no doubt did what she thought was for the best. However, if I should have a daughter she would be brought up in the new way, so that in time she would be able to hold her own with the men. When I was a child a girl was kept in utter ignorance of the great world about her. My brothers were taught to smoke. Why wasn't 1?.... Oh, I feel I am going to die! Where's my smelling-salts ?” ‘The new woman had been smoking her first cigar. J. j.o'connett, THE SAME THING. 68\VHAT are you doing here?” said Mr. Tad- dells to a tramp whom he found suspiciously near his hen-house, “ Lookin’ fer work,” was the wanderer's reply. “You mean looking for trouble, don’t you ?” “Well, isn't work trou- ble?” CONSOLATION. ‘+POOR Dylkins, made despondent by years of sickness, took his own life last night.” “Poor fellow! But then, you know, he didn’t have a great deal to take.” REASSURED. (CONFUSION to the man OLD GeNTLEMAN—“'I guess it's all right. He wouldn't hold who says, “ Why don’t her unless he was really in love with her.” you do as I do?” AN UNBELIEVING PARSON, "Squire Hennery—"* Her sort of nigger, and I'll give y anyway, and I don't want him,’ Sam Jounson—" Ob, tank yo', squiah; t'ank yo". Mah wife “ll cure him all right.” Sam ; you're a pretty good this rooster. He's sick, PARSON JACKSON (severely)—"* Whar yo" git dat chick- en, Sam?” SAM (innocently embarrassed) —"* Squiah Hennery guv ‘em toe me, pahson.” PAKSON JACKSON (solemnly)—"* Brudder Johnson, oh, Brudder Johnson ! doan’ add a lie toe yo'r udder crime, but taik dat chicken right back toe Squiah Hennery an’ baig his fo'gibness fo" habin’ stolen it. Ef yo" doan’ I'll excom- munercate yo" frum de sof’shell Baptis’ chu’ch.” PARSON JACKSON —"‘An' now, Brudder Johnson, let dis be a lastin’ lesson toe yo'—dat de righteous will allus prevail ober de unrighteous in dis mortal vale, an’ dat trufe am mighty an’ will git dar wif bofe feet.” comicbooks.com