Judge — November 9, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE PROBABLE END. N EW woman aspires to reach man’s position, Bat she'll not catch the man, we're afrai For when she’s attained to her cherished ambition The new woman will die an old maid MILTON GOLOSSIITH, } WHY THAT BOOK ISN'T PUBLISHED. | seAH ID the beautiful Mrs. Findy Siegel, the impressionist writer, as she pursed up her crimson lips, “I could write the great book of the season. It would be a winner. I have the frou-frou of soft skirts of Edgar Saltus, the soft curves seen through clinging garments of Sardou, the impassioned bites and kisses of Daudet, the meat-market odor of Zola, the clinging kiss of Guy de Maupassant, and the consumptive fervor of ‘Chaps that Sass in the Night.’ Oh, I could write a book that would have to be bound in asbestos and kept on ice in warm weather, and it would be sold in car-load lots, with a new edition every two weeks, I have it down fine, and know every WHY HE QUIT. ** Well, Uncle Jabez, did you shout for the red, white and blue while in Londo Uncte Janez—* Wa-al, I'll tell ye, Stockson, I shouted fer th’ ‘reds, whites en blues’ till I found th’ bloomin’ Englishmen hed fergot more about poker then I ever knew ; then I called myself a union jack en quit.” | | | | | | y salad-dressing from perfumed breath to damp-clinging ringlets, It would be a world- “Why don’t you write it?" I asked. “Lam afraid of that terrible New York criti she said with a delicious frown, “1 know of no such powerful crit I said.“ Who is it?” “Naughty man!” said she with a childish pout. “You know who I mean, I think his name is Anthony Comstc ALT. MONDEX. “HOBSON’S CHOICE.” #8 HE Seas not like other girls” was why He'd chosen her a wife to make him, She differed from the others by ‘The fact no other girl would take him. ATURAL MISTAKE. Farmer Bikecostt (as he hears bicyele-bell)—"* Durn if V'M git out o° th’ path A LIMITATION, ALE the stud is hers to use from ; She may have the black or bay. First the fiercest she will choose from ; ‘Then, upon another day, None will answer but a shy horse. But though I repress a frown If she takes the off or nigh horse Of my team to shop in town, When she gets upon a high horse NOTHING TO DO. Tramp—"1 ain't lazy. I'm willing to work, but I don’t find anything to do in my line.” Gentleman—" What is your line?” Tramp— Running for office on the woman-suffrage ticket.” I am forced to call her down, THE COMING COMPLIMENT. Mrs. Cumso—* Don't you think Miss Kittish looks exceedingly well to-day?” Mrs. Cawker—Yes; she is charm- ingly bloomered.” ** ‘That's not a nice way to treat a lady.” s—"* You ain't no lady ; you're a man—an’ STRUCK WITH DeLiGHT, a durn poor specimen at that.” comicbooks.com