Judge — November 9, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

297 HER ARTLESS QUESTIONS. HE Reverend Dr. Thirdly, who is somewhat advanced in years, was making a pastoral call and seven-year- old Frances was entertaining him until her parents should _ descend to the parlor. “You haven't much hair on your head, Dr. Thirdly,” remarked the little girl. “ Not much, Frances,” replied the clergyman genially. “ How do you like being bald?” “L prefer it that way, Frances, All smart men are bald-headed.” “Are they?” “Oh, yes. It is a great honor to be bald.” “ls it?” “ Certainly.” “ Wouldn't you like to be a boy again, Dr. Thirdly?” “No, Frances; 1 don’t think 1 should. I am quite satisfied with my age.” “Well,” added the little girl, “I should think you'd like to begin again, so that you could lead a better life.” SHE TOLD THEM. Mrs. de Strop—* Mary, remember | am at home to none except Mr. Vere Brownkins this afternoon.” Mose Jonson (at * the efub")—"*T say, fellahs ; let’s get up a foot-ball "leven. We'se all Mary (half an hour later)—" I've told four gentlemen got big feet an’ could put up a powerful strong game.” Il hatiyoutw h Mr. V. SPORTY JACKSON (derisively)—"* Taik a reef, dar, niggah; taik a reef, How's we gwine Callers that you were at home to none except Mr. Vere toe grow long hair?” Brownkins, ma'am, and they all left very mad indeed.” QUESTION BEFORE THE HOUSE. SHE KNEW. HE agent of the charitable society visited the school for the purpose of getting each of the children to bring a few po- tatoes for the poor. “ How many of the scholars remember what they brought the potatoes for last year?” she asked. Every hand was raised. “Well, little girl, you may tell us.” * Please, ma‘am, to put on the soldiers’ graves. NOT A MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE. ee HAT has become of all your chickens?” “ We have had two church conferences in our town this WESTERN POLITENESS, ALKALI Ixe (crack /)—"*’Scuse me, pard ; but I noticed thet yer cigar-ashes wuz erbout reddy ter drop on yer new suit.” “| APPKEHENSIVE MONETARY SOLICLTUDE. Iknv (t0h0 has been fishing with his father, excitedly)—" Oh, mommer! > — und fell und proke his fish-pole und bot" legs, und shprained his wrisd und ank tailed mit pop ; ty placked bot’ eyes. und dey're pringin’ him in py der ampulance now." Hetbankefalledisait poppers ohne Toad Ns Cea Mrs, Cones (smiling)—"' Vy, Ikey, vat a scare you gafe me ad firsd !