Judge, 1895-11-09 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 9, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking popular entertainment and social conventions of the era: **"Tracked"** parodies melodramatic detective fiction. "Celluloid Buskin" (a theatrical reference) is a bumbling detective who identifies a criminal nobleman by extracting his teeth—an absurdly overcomplicated solution. The satire mocks overwrought mystery stories and their improbable plot resolutions. **"Overreaching Himself"** depicts a card game between two Black men where Mr. Blades suspects Mr. Jackson of cheating, noting he always "drops out" when Blades gets aces. Jackson deflects by pointing out Blades's own suspicious losses. The joke relies on period stereotypes about Black gamblers. **"One School of Journalism"** critiques unethical reporting: a managing editor hires a journalist who admits he'd fabricate rumors as fact if unable to find actual evidence—then cynically refuses to pay him space rates, suggesting even disreputable editors have limits. The page uses exaggerated caricature and absurdist scenarios to satirize theatrical clichés, gaming, and yellow journalism.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MATCHLESS, HE is a matchless beauty, ‘And that she can’t forget. ‘A match to make she’s tried for years, But all in vain, so it appears That she is matchless yet. TRACKED. A THRILLER THAT THRILLS. . ‘AH ! Petrocious von Avon- dale, I have you at last!" The count drew his tall fig- ure to its fullest height and turn- ed his steely-gray eyes upon the speaker, while a faint cynical smile barely showed itself in his features and the thin lips parted just sufficiently to reveal a mea- gre gleam of the nobleman’s snowy teeth, “You are mistaken, sir,” he muttered. But Celluloid Buskin, the detective, was not to be so easily thwarted. “Am 1?" said he, “You are.” “ You think I am.” “1 know you are.” “ How d’ye know ?” Then, turning to his two faithful assistants, Celluloid Bus- kin commanded, “Seize him, men! I'll prove his identity in one second.” The nobleman was seized by the two burly deputy-sleuths and pinioned. “ Now, out with his teeth ! shouted Celluloid Buskin. OVERREACHING HIMSELF. Mr. Buaves (suspiciously)—"* See heah, yo’ Jackson | wha am it dat ebery tahm T gits fo’ aces yo" draps out ?* Mn. JacKson—"" By yo'r disgusted look, Mistah Blades.~ Dat's de same look yo" sprung on me las’ week when yo'r fo’ aces raked mah las’ quartah, sab.” THE RIVALS. A tale of foot-ball hair, jealousy, a trick, and a fickle maid. 299 “What?” “Out with them f" In spite of his heroic resist- ance, the nobleman’s pearly teeth were instantly extracted— plate and all. “Ha! hal” laughed Cellu- loid Buskin, holding the glitter- ing masticators up tothe light. “knew it. Same teeth. Grind- er and Bicuspid, dentists, Will- iamsburg. Tracked !* And Celluloid Buskin ex- peditiously clapped the darbies upon the notorious counterfeit- er's wrists. AN ACCOMMODATING HUSBAND. Bickers—" My wife told me last night she was going to elope with Trotter to-day.” Trivvet—" Wasn't it very singular that she should teil you?” Bickers —" Oh, not at all. She wanted a hundred dollars for traveling expenses and I gave her the money.” ONE SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM, 6S WV HAT is your idea of the work?” asked the man- aging editor of the Revolving Planet, “Suppose you were sent to sift the charges against a prominent man and did not find him, What would you do?” “That's easy enough I'd come back to the office, write up the charges as rumors, and the next day I'd find the man and get a column of denial out of him.” “You'll do, but we won't put you on space.”