Judge — November 9, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Photo. by Sarony. JUDGE'S FAVORIT! MISS GRAHAM IN‘ PUDD'NHEAD WILSON,” This quaint idyllic scene is laid own by the Mississippi. Whene'er I go to see it played, Like life it seems—yet I'm afraid ‘There never was guite such a dear little maid Down by the Mississippi doctor. “1 was thinking of something else ; something 1 was reading about in the newspapers.” “Ab! You are trying to conceal something from me,” cried the dying man. “You could not be so cruel, doctor. You said you knew how life could be prolonged, and yet you hesi- tate to tell me.I must "—— “Be calm!” interrupted the doctor. “ [did not mean that any resource of medical science could help you. 1 was only. going to suggest that the one sure way to prolong life these days is to murder somebody in New York and get sentenced to the electric-chair.” Ww. L. RioRDON. HIS ONLY CHANCE. E WAS dying; there could be no doubt about that. But there was no resignation in his heart. He clung to life; he cried aloud that he could not die; he begged the doctor in pite- ous terms to prolong his days. “ My family is unprovided for !" he cried. “I need years—years to lay by a provision for them. Oh, doctor! is there no way to prolong my life?” “There #s a way,” said the doctor thoughtfully, “but, of course "— “What is it? What is it? claimed the dying man,“ Tell m will do anything. * Blawst me bloomin’ blinkers, but th’ Hamericans stole th’ AN ENGLISH JOKE. A BACK-ACTION CINCH. Cianence (sil department) —" Weal comes Miss Millyuns, whom you made love to at Haw Hawbaw lawst summah. Bet you a box of cigawettes she don’t wecognize CuoLiy—"* Not much, deah boy; you'd have a cinch.” Miss Mittyuns tly) — Why, how do you do, Mr. Chumply ? I believe you and I were actually engaged, last summer, t Bar Harbor?” y (rapturously) —** We were indeed, Miss Ns ( frigidly)—"* Very well. Your com- panion is a witness to that admission — if you don't marry me at once I will sue you for breach of promise M father has just failed and taken the poor-debtor's oath.” MARRIAGE, we own, is a lottery. of Fordham, was apprised of a ring at the telephone and at once repaired to the instrument. said an impatient voice. all in tights, with spangles onto ‘em.” red legs, green sash red with black stockings. you send ‘em to the theatre 2” BELIEVED IN A HEREAFTER. Perique Paut. —"* Does yer know, pardner, dat I'd give me life fer a long, sociable’ smok Caustic CHuMLey—" Dats wot I'm afeared youse'll have ter do one er dese days.” A DIFFERENCE, Vet here a great difference li There are times when we do not envy ‘The man with the capital prize. MIXED. THE other morning Miss Priscilla Primley, the excellent proprietress the young ladies’ seminary of “Hello! hello! Wake up there!" “T want ‘em “Want what ?” said the inculcator of Greek verbs and crochet, who was much shocked. “Why, the girls,” was the reply; “The rules of this establishment will not allow anything of the kind,” said the model preceptress firmly. “Very well, then; make ‘em all When can “The young ladies are per- mitted to attend the matinée on holidays only, in parties of fourteen, accompanied by a teacher.” “And I'm not satisfied with the skirt-dances—must be made to kick higher.” “Tmust request, sir, that you instantly remove your daughters from this institution—instantly, I cannot consent to impart any such scandalous information to the young, and I desire "— But the operator at the uptown telephone-exchange switched off the connection just then and explained that by mistake he had hooked the seminary on to the Harlem theatre, where a variety-troupe agent was instructing a theatrical-bill engraver regarding some colored posters. ‘THE sIxOLOGIST. comicbooks.com