Judge — August 31, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“A GOOD THIN THE UNEMANCIPATED MAN. +s NOW mind the baby, sir,” quoth she. “I'm very likely to,” sighed he ; ** For that is how ‘twill have to be— The baby never will mind me.” IT WOULDN'T WORK. Old Pompey —" When 1 wuz a boy 1 hates toe work, an’ dar was a niggah got his foot hurt an’ he stop workin’; so I takes my ax wid me an’ goes in de fiel’. 1 lif's dat ax an’ brings it down five times toe cut off dat foot, but eb’ time it comes down dat foot wuzn’t dar.” THE SUSPENDER- GIRL. HER braees, in spite of all rumors, Are merely for show. The poor thing Is so much a woman her bloomers She holds up by means of a string. THE NEW BOY’S ESSAY. ATER is thin and pure white like glass. The most water is found in Water is good to drink and to go swimming in. When I was a baby I was washed in water every morning; now I get washed every Saturday night. Out in the far west the Indians don’t wash themselves but once in ten years. 1 wish I was an Indian, with a bow-and-arrow, and could stay out-doors all night and sleep in a blanket. Sina DIFFERENT. Harry—" Is she a friend of yours?” CLaA—"'Oh no! we've known each other for years," THE BAFFLED BICYCLE FIEND. Bicyciist—"* Watch me frighten that dog.” Sudge WHY THEY WERE STARVING. Frowery Fietps—" Kind lady, cud yer help an honest man dat's got a sick wife an’ ten small children starvin’ ter death 7” Mrs. Goopman—" Why are they starving? Can't you get work 2” Flowery Fietps—‘*'Tain't dat, mum. Ter-day's deir reg- ular starvin’-day ; ter-morrer I'll hev ‘em all down wid de measles, an’ next day I'll hev ‘em dead an‘ no money ter bury ‘em, I gives my customers variety, mum,” THE EQUALITY BUSINESS. HE TOOK her hand, placed it upon his big one, and ex- claimed, “ How white and small it is!" His arm stole around her slender waist and he whispered, “ What a little one!" She did not answer, and with sweet concern he asked her if the walk had tired her—if she would rest her head against his bosom. And then she burst into tears. What is it, dear?” he said. You tyrant man!" was her sobbed reply.“ Treat me as your equal, or I scorn your love. Don't act as though 1 were an old woman. I'ma new one!" BASE MAN. She —"1 do not see what objection you can have to Harry? He— He is fast and leads a double life.” She —* How do you know?” He ** He is a champion bicycle-racer.” Bot it was an iron dog, and — comicbooks.com