Judge, 1895-08-31 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 31, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"The Unemancipated Man"** mocks male domestic helplessness—a husband reluctantly accepting childcare, suggesting men of this era were culturally unprepared for household responsibilities. **"It Wouldn't Work"** uses offensive period dialect to satirize a folk tale about an enslaved person's injury, reflecting Judge's often crude racial humor. **"The Suspender-Girl"** jokes about women's fashion and bloomers (reform clothing), mocking the contradiction between practical dress and Victorian modesty. **"Why They Were Starving"** satirizes professional beggars who manipulate charitable donors with excuses and planned miseries—social criticism wrapped in class mockery. **"The Equality Business"** critiques the "New Woman" movement: a man treats his companion with gentlemanly deference (small hands, delicate), but she demands genuine equality rather than patronizing chivalry—satirizing both progressive women and confused men navigating changing gender roles. **"The Baffled Bicycle Fiend"** appears a simple joke about an unsuccessful dog-scaring attempt. Overall: social satire targeting changing gender dynamics, class pretense, and contemporary anxieties about modernization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“A GOOD THIN THE UNEMANCIPATED MAN. +s NOW mind the baby, sir,” quoth she. “I'm very likely to,” sighed he ; ** For that is how ‘twill have to be— The baby never will mind me.” IT WOULDN'T WORK. Old Pompey —" When 1 wuz a boy 1 hates toe work, an’ dar was a niggah got his foot hurt an’ he stop workin’; so I takes my ax wid me an’ goes in de fiel’. 1 lif's dat ax an’ brings it down five times toe cut off dat foot, but eb’ time it comes down dat foot wuzn’t dar.” THE SUSPENDER- GIRL. HER braees, in spite of all rumors, Are merely for show. The poor thing Is so much a woman her bloomers She holds up by means of a string. THE NEW BOY’S ESSAY. ATER is thin and pure white like glass. The most water is found in Water is good to drink and to go swimming in. When I was a baby I was washed in water every morning; now I get washed every Saturday night. Out in the far west the Indians don’t wash themselves but once in ten years. 1 wish I was an Indian, with a bow-and-arrow, and could stay out-doors all night and sleep in a blanket. Sina DIFFERENT. Harry—" Is she a friend of yours?” CLaA—"'Oh no! we've known each other for years," THE BAFFLED BICYCLE FIEND. Bicyciist—"* Watch me frighten that dog.” Sudge WHY THEY WERE STARVING. Frowery Fietps—" Kind lady, cud yer help an honest man dat's got a sick wife an’ ten small children starvin’ ter death 7” Mrs. Goopman—" Why are they starving? Can't you get work 2” Flowery Fietps—‘*'Tain't dat, mum. Ter-day's deir reg- ular starvin’-day ; ter-morrer I'll hev ‘em all down wid de measles, an’ next day I'll hev ‘em dead an‘ no money ter bury ‘em, I gives my customers variety, mum,” THE EQUALITY BUSINESS. HE TOOK her hand, placed it upon his big one, and ex- claimed, “ How white and small it is!" His arm stole around her slender waist and he whispered, “ What a little one!" She did not answer, and with sweet concern he asked her if the walk had tired her—if she would rest her head against his bosom. And then she burst into tears. What is it, dear?” he said. You tyrant man!" was her sobbed reply.“ Treat me as your equal, or I scorn your love. Don't act as though 1 were an old woman. I'ma new one!" BASE MAN. She —"1 do not see what objection you can have to Harry? He— He is fast and leads a double life.” She —* How do you know?” He ** He is a champion bicycle-racer.” Bot it was an iron dog, and — comicbooks.com