Judge — August 31, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE WAS RESIGNED. +6] AM sorry I must leave you.” Said the old man with a sigh ; * But I would not have it grieve you, For, my friends, I wish to die. True, my life of late was lonely As [scan the backward track ; But in death, and in death only, Lies escape from bric-a-brac.”" Weeping friends drew back in sorrow. Never had they heard complaint When they sent him out to borrow Fourteen different tubes of paint. Now they saw what they had brought him, And how bitter was the cup When loose rugs rolled up and caught him Round his heels and tripped him up. “Tam going where forever Vil be free from sordid cares ; In those mansions where they never Put pink tidies on the chairs. I shall glide above the billows ‘To the land of restful calms, Where they never hide the pil- Now too late in awful sadness O’er his couch their tear-drops fall, While he shrieks and points in madness At the mottoes on the wall, *** Welcome ’—ha! don’t you forget it. ‘Scratch my back'—well, I” should smile. * Love will bless our home '—well, let it.”” Thus he mumbled on a while lows ‘Neath the rufiled pillow-shams.” Then he died, When he was quiet ‘They threw a throw across his breast ; A big silk head-rest loomed up nigh it, And o'er it card-board letters, ** Rest.” But these horrors now escaped him As they added to their guilt, For from head to feet they draped him In a big silk crazy-quilt. ALF woRDRN. HER SOLE AMBITION. OLD HAYSEED gets a set of false teeth without his wile’s knowl- edge. She discovers it and decides to have hers pulled to get even with him. Dentist—" But, madam, those are good teeth; T must protest.” Mrs. Hayseed—"\ don't care. Pull ‘em out. ain't goin’ to let old Hay- seed git the start o' me that a-wa THE CHILD’S PARADISE. Little Dorothy —* Grandma's is the nicest place! You don’t have to mind a thing that is said to you.” IKONY OF FATE, ‘The man is an agent of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. P. s.—He is going to hand in his resignation, though. UCK. TRAMP (in New York}—"* Ter t'ink dat de first day we've had er cent in weeks should be Sunday !" v ON THE HOTEL VERANDA. SEE her turn the corner ; T hear her mannish tread. 1 feel an awful presence ‘That fills my soul with dread, Great Scott ! she’s drawing nearer; Til vanish while I can, If she's the coming woman, Then I'm the going man. c, w NO DANGER AT ALL. Mother —* Emeline, you kissed that young man last night?” Emeline —* Yes, mamma.” Mother— Don't you know that that is wrong ? Emeline—* Oh, pshaw, mamma! 1 applied an antiseptic immediately.” ACCOMMODATED. Proresson FAaKINTon (the juggler)—‘* Gentlemen, I find myself compelled to apologize for the omission of the bowie-knife juggling act, owing to the fact that some miscreant has purloined my knives, Would "—— DEADGULCH AUDIENCE (anticipating to a man—whies !)—"* Sartin |!" comicbooks.com