Judge — August 31, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HER AGE, NO>the new woman isn’t young, Although so much the rage. Adam, in fact,’s the only one Who really knows her age. TO BE SURE! THE old-lady Methodist al- ways stood up for her church. She had just heard of the appointment of an Episco- pal chaplain at the penitentiary, when she exclaimed indignantly, JUDG 'S PHOTOGRAPHS, be They ought to have a Metho- Picture of the man wko dist chaplain—there are more takes just as much pleasure in Methodist convicts in the peni- having his wife sit on his knee ., . faving bis wife siton his koee tentiary than any other denomi- years ago, before they married, nation | know.” MISS MARY ELLEN EASTSIDE AND HER BOSOM FRIEND. HEN we quit work at twelve o'clock on Sat'day Mabel Fogerty (her name ain't any more Mabel than mine is), Mabel says ter me,“‘Are yer goin’ ter the hair-dresser's ter git yer bang trimmed?” An'I says“ Yep.” An’ she says, “ Better tell her ter put a little more peroxyde on the roots of yer hair. Rvkat RaGcEs—"* It's no use, Tatts; I've got ter work.” Billy Kinkaid says you're goin’ piebald.” An’ I says, “ How ts TRAMPING TATT! “Land 0! labor; Koory, me boy! What's de matter wid yer? 4 Are yer losin’ yer intelle wt wid you, that was sent out of the work-room by the forelady RGMALTRAGoiee HAD TO WORK, me, “Don't yer dare ter speak ter me Monday mornin’, yer deceitful jay, yer! Yer false! Yer a false friend!" An’ I hollered back, You, you! Tat talks about deceit an’ praises the boss's baby ter his face an’ says behin’ his back that it's humly as rot! Yer shoutin’, you are! Ta-ta! I'm off fer Coney.” I spose she'll be mad now, but I don’t care much if she is. She's eat up wid jealousy, anyhow, an’ she’s always an’ frever chewin’ tutti-frutti, an’ 1 jist Aare tutti-frutti, MADELINE oRVIS. VANQUISHED., PD EATH came to earth one night. Fame's proudest son grew pale with quick affright . Wealth’s richest worshiper bowed low his head, And both lay dead, Another night came he. ‘A maiden, dreaming, smiled love's constancy. Quoth Death. ** This love is stronger far than I," And passed her by. ARTHUR CLAVELAND PALMER, A SENSELESS QUESTION. City youth (to country boy digging worms)— joing to get some fish for your dinner, sonny Sonny (disgustedly)—"* Naw ; goin’ ter git some worms fer the fishes’ dinner.” CHANGED HIS MIND. Farmer OATCAKE—'*Ah-ha, you" rascals ! I've caught ye this time, an ! won't move a step But he did. from here till ye come down.” this mornin’ ter wash some of the paint off'n yer face?” An’ she says, “Ray Gugenhzimer says yer paint too, wid some pizen green paper yer bought of a Chinaman that won't come off in the surf, an’ he sold it ter you fer fifty cents ‘cause yer picked out a lucky number fer him in “tan” “What do I care fer that little sheeny ?" says I. “* She told me yer dressed up all yer fellers an’ all the men-folks in yer fam’= ly wid the neckties yer took home ter do.” “I do ‘em by the gross, don't I,” says she," wid six over fer mistakes?’ An I says," Ob, well, I suppose yer gentlemen trends ‘W always haf ter stan’ yer mistakes.” An wid that 1 turned on me heel an run down stairs. An she hollered after WHILE THE BOSS WAS LOOKING THE OTHER WAY. ye moind Prisident Claveland’s nami: ‘Troth, Oi does, th’ shmar-rt divil! s his new darter Mary Ann?” ‘Thor's a bid fer th’ Oirish vote an’ th’ third ter-rm, d’ye moind.” comicbooks.com