Judge, 1895-07-06 · page 5 of 16
Judge — July 6, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains multiple short jokes and observations about contemporary American life, likely from the early 1900s based on style and references. The main targets of satire include: **Gender and social roles**: "The Girls and the Fourth" mocks women's independence (lighting firecrackers using their bloomers—scandalous undergarments). "By a New Woman" satirizes feminist rhetoric about controlling nature and men, then undercuts it with the postscript that women aren't "obstinate," merely "firm." **Class and competence**: "Neglected Education" jokes about a fireman unable to play piano (suggesting education gaps). The lawyer joke contrasts attorneys with mere legal practitioners. **Romantic dynamics**: "Balked" depicts a woman's empty threat—she won't scream to spite her suitor, undercutting her own ultimatum. **General human folly**: Cartoons depict a near-sighted hunter and a child losing fingers on Independence Day, plus observations on hypocrisy and human nature. The humor relies on period attitudes about gender, class, and propriety that modern readers would find dated or offensive.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Photo, by Fath. JUDGE'S FAVORITES, ADELE RITCHIE, “ Drink to me only with thine eyes." T'll pledge thee in a line; Though Thy pledge outvalues mine. ‘Then éall it charity, and be = ‘Sweet benefactress unto me THE DIFFERENCE. + ¢ ANYBODY can be a lawyer.” “There's where you're wrong. Anybody can be an attorney, but it takes brains to make a lawyer.” THE PATRIOTIC BOY. AE THOUGH he risks his life and timb To stand where danger lingers, It never seems to bother him To lose some of his fingers. SMALL. IN DOUBT. Fred (to grandpa, who has just been out for a walk) —“ How 's the weather, grandpa?” Grandpa—" How should 1 know? I hain’t seen the paper yet.” IT WASN'T A CIGAR-BUTT, 1, The near-sighted snipe-hunter's fourth of July. I'm aware, O charming fair, you. THE GIRLS AND THE FOURTH. THIS year in crackers they'll delight— ‘At least so run the rumors. Why should they not, since they can light The matches on their bloomers? NEGLECTED EDUCATION. Ss\WHEN we got to the house,” said the fireman, “we found the piano ablaze.” “ Did you turn the hose on it ?” “Alas,no! You see.I had never learned to play on the piano.” ON THEM. . — Did the surgeons treat you well at the hospital ?” Dashaway—"Finely. Every time they reset my leg they set up the BALKED. SHE—" George Peterson, if you kiss me again I'll scream out loud.” Geoxce (4isses her)—"* Good! I never heard you scream out loud.” SHE—"* George Peterson, I won't scream out loud now, just to spite JUDGMENTS. ETWEEN thedevil ‘and the deep “* She.” If a woman can’t be pretty let her be pe- culiar, Many good women love their husbands and their country, but do not want to “run” either. Every human be- ing lives a dual Ife; and the more pro- nounced the character the greater the ex- tremes. It is a pity there is nothing in the deca- logue about the crime of intrusiveness. Not even husband or wife should break through the sacred barrier that surrounds the individ- val, aapgting oxvis. FAST ACCOMMODATION; OR, A LOW HIGHWAYMAN, HicuwayMan Yer time, an’ be quick! See?” BY A NEW WOMAN. HUSH the wind when it is blowing, Stop the river that is flowing, By entreaties alter fate ; ‘Turn a man when obstinate. P.S.— This does “not apply to women. Women are never obstinate. They are simply firm in their convie- tiohs~and determined’ in maintaining their principles. A FRIENDLY TIP. Smither —" Know any especially good places to fish, old man ?” Rinktuns —" Well, no, but | will give you my experience. 1 have always caught the most fish where there have been signs conspicuously placed which, strange to say, most broadly proclaimed that there should be no fishing there.” comicbooks.com