Judge — July 6, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE FOURTH-OF-JULY BOY. 1 read in the paper to-day. “A baby was born there of late "— I suppose that is what they would say. 1 object to their calling him new ; For if he’s not legless or blind You may wager a hundred cigars He is always the very same kind— ‘The bifl-in-the-eye boy, the out-on- the-fly boy, the cunning-and-sly boy you most always find, He inherits the knowledge of years, But begins where his father began ; His pathway is moistened with tears . In climbing his way up to man. SS With the string and the club and bent pin He invents just the same kind of pain ‘That the boys in the dark ages knew, Or that Abel complained of in Cain— ‘The fourth-of-July boy, the last-one-to-cry boy, the never-say-die boy who drives you’ insane. And in fact we don’t want any change ; He's a very good sort of boy. He has a long way yet to range ‘Through a country that yields little joy. And we wouldn't give much for the man Who never had risked a sharp pang For the pleasure that all through him ran When he set something off with a bang— ‘The pepper-box-high boy, the dirt-in-his- eye boy—in fact, your or my boy who loves a loud bang. AT, worn, UTILIZING ADVERSITY, STAGE-MANAGER (as Rij got dere?” SCHNEIDER (a barn-storming Rip)—" Don'd say a vord. Ss A MISPLACED FOURTH -OF-JULY ORATION, ** Now, beloved children, bear in mind the deeds of our forefathers. as they did. Imitate their fight for independence” — n Winkle goes on for the last act)—'* Wot yer I vas going to ketch efery egg d'rown ad me dis acd. Dere may pe some good vons among dem.” A DANGEROUS OFFICE, “* Why don’t yer commence the game?” We will as soon as we kin find er tenderfoot ter umpire it.” NEW KIND. MAkion HARLAND tells this story of her husband, the Reverend Edward Terhune, who is an enthusiastic gardener during his vacations at their summer home in New A country neighbor was standing at the door, on some small business, one morning when Mr. Terhune came up the path with an egg-plant in his hand. “Waal,” quoth the bucolic visitor, eying the vegetable wonder- ingly, “I've heerd ye was raisin’ some’ purple squashes up here, but I didn't rightly b'lieve it was so.” THEY FOUND OUT. Bobby —" Have you ‘poured all the powder into the bottle?” Freddie—“ Yes.” Bobby —" Then let us drop a lighted match in and see how much of it will go off.” THE ONE GREAT PRIVILEGE. Why do you think girls are a nuisance when you're Quericus camping out ?’ Cynicus—" Because when they are around you can't very well * swear at the fellow who does the cooking.” HE CANNOT STAY. se] ALWAYS go out of town on the fawth of July, doncher know,” re- marked Goslin. * Why?” “Well, the Fawth isn’t English, you know.” OVE, no matter how dis- torted or ill-placed, is a RACING TERM. comforting power for every They're off in a bunch, ill in life. {They did! Tt was a glorious day.) comicbooks.com