Judge — May 4, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DE HOODOO MAN. 1 EF YO, was bawn in Aprile In de aidge ob de arternoon, An’ de wedder was dark an’ cloudy. Jes’ erbout in de ol’ ob de moon ; Besides, ef de win’ was eastwards An’ a fog was ober de lan’, An’ yo’ heah de chimbly whistlin’, Den luk out fo’ de hoodoo man. m y Jee pull a ha'r frum his tall An’ git sum fur frum a cross-backed mule An‘ a rusty chu'ch-doah nail ; Den yo’ hide ‘em undah de doah-step As quick as eber yo" can, An’ cut a notch wid a broad-axe, Er yo" heah frum de hoodoo ‘man. 3 Doan’ was’e no time on rabbit's foot Er wish-bones frum a goose. Doan' projeck roun’ wid clovah-leaves ; Yo' fin’ it ain’ no use, io , z Ef yo’ got a mole on yo" undah lip EXCUSABL! Er seben warts on one han’ Miss JOUNSON (indignantly) — . yo" brack trash ! how dar yo" Yo" hustle roun’ fo’ dat yaller dog call on me when intoxicated ?” An’ luk out fo de hoodoo man. Mn. JACKSON (Auemb/y)—"* Miss John y mus’ ‘scuse me. I tended i toe ask fo" yo" han’ toe-night an’ tuk a few drinks fo' mah nerves ” ee . ax 2: Miss JOUNSON (softly chiding)—"* Wa-al, yo" surely Aas got a nerve toe do Me am ridin’ roan’ by starlight Oh, ain’ I know him by de back dat ; but—er—whad was yo’ gwine toe say, deah Mr, Jackson, when I inter- On er white hoss ol” an’ poo" When de watahmillions fail? rupted yo'?" Yor cat gwine cough, yo' pig gwine De smoke-house doahs was allus choke, ne Tocked. JUDGMENTS. When he stop at yo" doah. De catfish turn deir tail. SCE cai Yo! cow gwine git de yallers De chickens allus wake an squall SILENCE docsh't give @ cent. An’ a frost cum on de lan’; As loud as a cirkiss-ban’. Like father, like all fathers. Yo" kain't illumernate all de ills Fo’ thousan’ dollahs I bet I los’ The pin is mightier than Is brung by de hoodoo man. the pee. Handsome is and handsome knows it. Jes’ by dat hoodoo man, 6. So ef yo’ was bawn on Friday, On de night ob de thutteenth day ile or Novembah, An’ de win’ in de chimbly play; ” break a crock on Monday Er yo" fin’ a toad in yo" pan, Yo' wanter luk sharp fo’ a yaller Our national anthem is the finest song unsung. Don’t ask a mountaineer's judgment of shell-fish. “Youth comes but once,” but neither does old age. dog, By 70" beth: feom-‘de:/hoodoo “Come where my love lies : dreaming” and get shot. Give a man an inch and he'll want a tumblerful. “Pot call kettle black" and then kettle call pot dow Whosoever tells you what is said of you, good or ill, relishes the telling. The hand that rocks the cradle is the one that isn’t hold- ing “ Trilby.” Be wary in using your in- fluence over yourself, lest you lose your * pull.” THE STRONGEST OF HE GOT THE JOB. REASONS. PRESIDENT (lo applicant)—"* What qualifications have you for the position LEM. Nurved—" Which do the easiest way to THE ANNUAL PROB- Quy — Mrs. you find is clean house? Mrs, Oldhand— Move.” DEFINED. Teacher —" What is greed- iness, Teddie? When is a per- son greedy?” Teddie (tentatively) Yes; when is a eddie (promptly) —* When Quericus—" What prompt- He: wants qonpibiig: Chat fot APELICANT—" I do not go to church and never taught a Sunday-school class int! them to move? . want for yourself, ny life.” Cynicus—" The landlord, TOO MUCH FOR THE LION, -at Scott ! this is rough—a raging lion and poor me with nothing but — But, by Jove! the effect it has is deadly.” comicbooks.com