Judge — April 6, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

244 Sage A SPRING DISEASE. H, YES; it must go, the beyutiful snow. But while it is so, my dear, ‘twill come with the spring when phebe-birds sing—a terrible thing, my dear, The“ Te-he-he-he-oh-do-stay- to-tea-now-just-to-please-me ” young mat hard-up-for-cash, the wide-bellied-sash, the bal- cony-mash young man. He's grandmother's boy; the girly-girl's joy. We long to destroy bis clan, Alas for our case! we smile in his face; he fills up the place of aman, He chatters and grins; plays tennis and wins. Alas for our sins! we smile and ask him to call, while hoping the ball in his big mouth will fall and choke him the while. Where, where does he go when autumn- winds blow? Does he sell calico for cash; or, when swallows fly, does he “ Frankfurters !" cry and yank the cold pie and hash? Why query of this? Enough that he is and adds to our bliss in good-will. Don’t shoot him, I pray; he will soon pass away and his musical bray be still. SUCCESS WITH THE INFANT CLASS. ARISTOCRACY OF CRIME. «sQHESS in no way beautiful, but so earnest.” “* He didn’t speak ter yer. did he?” . ission 2" “* Uv course not. Yer don't expect an expert bank-robber like Has 4 mission: him ter speak ter a humble sneak-thief, does yer?” “Yes, She begins with the young and by her moral living pictures inculcates a distaste for the nude in art.” “Ugh! Puts bloomers on the Venus of Milo, eh?" __ LOCATED, “No, I believe she impersonates Trilby in ‘the altogether." " MINISTER, making parochial call, interviews our youngest, seated on his knee. “Well, my little man, do you go to Sunday-school ?” Xo, sir; but I say my prayers.” “Ah, indeed? That's good. Whom do you pray to?” “I don’t ‘member the gentleman's name, but he lives *hind the moon,” APRIL. SWEET April, month when poets sing their’ merry lays Of balmy airs, of bud and bloom, of hill and dale; Sweet month, when inspiration leavens all the days, When — patent medicines receive their greatest sale! NEW IN BIBLE HISTORY. Sunday-school teacher —"And why did Adam and Eve have to leave the garden of Eden? Tommy, can you tell ” Tommy—" Yes'm ; the Lexow committee got after ‘em.” JUST THE CONTRARY. IS very trying to have an acquaintance smilingly exclaim, “Ah, slipped up, did you ?"—when a centrally located pain makes it clear to you that, on the contrary, you slipped down. AN OPTICAL ILLUSION. | Not so strange as it looks. WISE IGNORANCE, ¢sTHERE'S a great deal in the magazines about Napoleon Bonaparte now,” said a man on a railway train to a fellow-passenger. “Napoleon Bonaparte?” repeated the latter inquiringly. “I don’t think I ever met him. Who is he?” ‘The other man turned away with a look of disgust and the questioner winked slyly at a man across the aisle who had been an interested listener 4) to the conversation. THE ONE EXCEPTION, Mrs. Nuwed —* Our landlord thinks of nothing but the rent.” Nuzwed — You wrong him, my dear. I'm sure he never thinks of the rent in the roof.” MamMA—"' Willie, don’t you think it wicked to catch those good little saa : fishes on that cruel hook?” . IN THE FASHION, WILLE (after a moment's thought)—"' These ain't good little fishes, mam- * You pays your money and takes your choice.” maj; these are bad little fishes that go and bite my good little mud-worms." comicbooks.com