Judge — April 6, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CONTENTMENT. [VE had pneumonia and catarrh And sundry other ills; T have, it seems, no lucky star, But I have doctors’ bills. I've had of fevers not a few (E’en now with some I strive) ; Tut T'll not worry—some folks do— T'm’glad that I'm alive. x. 31.1 THE CAUTIOUS OLD MAID. Cora —""She seemed utterly surprised when he proposed to her. A woman should control herself better.” Marjorie—" You must recol- lect, my dear, she is thirty and that it was April-fool day.” \&» CHAPPIE'S MISTAKE. CHappie—"' Haw! some fellah 's dropped his chrysanthemum,— A TYPE. —Holy smoke! it’s a dog.” HE could chase a lively notion through a complex club commotion; could trace it through the meeting with all its twists and curves. mind the baby, for it jarred upon her nerves. She could quell a wild disorder within her club’s broad border; but she couldn't In theosophy she reveled; every doubt she quickly leveled, and in abstruse style of argument she quite was out of sight. She could “translate” yards of Browning, this great feat with others crowning; but she couldn't tell the reason why her bread was never light. She could give the why and wherefore, from the “now then” to the “ therefore,” on the point of equal suffrage and the reason it should be; would amend the constitution, bring about a revolution; but when it came to mending socks—then where, oh, where was she? She could give a dissertation on the spendings of the nation; thought the thriftlessness of congress should be published far and wide; but when her husband told her ("though he didn’t want to scold her")—that she simply must economize she just lay down and died. y Jennie poDswoRTH LOCKWOOD. VOICI, DU MAURIER! Tommy Topflatte—* Mamma, Mrs. Forth sends up your wringer. She says she sha'n't need it to-day nor to-morrow Mrs. Topflatte—* Dear me! and this is Friday too. doing, Tommy?” Tommy— She's a-sittin’ out in the kitchen on an upside-down crock, with her back up against the water-heater, a-readin’ ‘ Thrillby.’” ‘What is she window)—"* V'll ghnuts I break that flask of old bourbon in my pocket. CHANGEABLE, APRIL is the month for fooling, ‘Thus did nature so allot ; Man can't tell, with all his schooling, Whether it will rain or not BOOT ON THE OTHER LEG. Henrietle—" Why are you so downeast 7” Florence—* Who wouldn't be when one expects one’s father-in- law to come and live with one for six months? Our mothers would never do that,” 1. The Carriboo islanders have become slaves to it. fians are delighted with it kone crazy over it, THE GOLF MANIA. 2. It has caught on Turkey, where harem golf-clubs hat 4, And north-pole seekers say it is just the thing. 5. Tt has found its way into Japan. 7. The phlegmatie Dutch have been unable to withstand its attraction, JUDGE'S PHOTOGRAPHS. Picture of the Englishman who really knows a joke when he sees one. been formed. 3. In 6. The Parisians have