Judge — March 30, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE NAPOLEONIC REVIVAL. N APOLEON'S judgment of character was infallible, His selection of his generals and counselors proved this. Such a brilliant galaxy of diplomatic and military men of genius was never before nor since under one leader, and to this he largely owed his stupendous achievements. “ What is the acreage of this forest?” he asked one day of his keeper of forests, a young man of a pale habit who had come excellently recommended by a busi- ness college and the young men’s Christian association. The keeper blushed deeply and, after probing his ear with the point of his pencil for a moment, replied, “ Sire, 1 will have it surveyed to-morrow or next day and will then make you out a detailed statement from my books and let you have it, tied up in pink ribbon, in about a week or two.” “Oh, you will, eh?” cried the emperor, scornfully surveying him. “ Yes, sire,” replied the keeper. At this moment an ignorant underling about the place, who had been brought up at Steve Brodie’s, and who was paid a small salary ; more to keep him from poaching than anything else, stepped forward and said > boldly, “Sire, would humbly inform you upon oath that the exact acreage of this forest is seven thousand two hun- A COMMAND EXPLAINED. VLVANIA. FARM rho pulls hard, turning around)—"' W'm—euh? h—h-h—?! 1" FarMmex—"* I don’t mean you, Tom ; I mean Bill.” uae THOUGHT IT MIGHT GO. Eprror (savagely)—"* Do you call that a joke?” Humorist—'* No, sir. Epitor—"' Then what in Chicago did you bring it Hunorist—"" Excuse me, sir, I understood that you were an Englishman,” dred and eighty-five and eighty-four and a half ten-thousandths square rods.” Here he paused modestly, and as the emperor chanced to be taking snuff he took a pinch himself from the same box. Looking steadily at him for a moment, Napoleon cried in a terrible voice, “Listen, rascal! You're a — liar, but I like your style. Take this chump’s job as keeper of the forest and steal all you can, for 1 expect to go out of office by the back door very shortly.”” Napoleon's excellent judgment did not fail him in this case, for at the time of his abdication the entire property stood in the young man's name, and was furthermore mortgaged for about seven times its legitimate value. (To be continued, CORRECTING A REPORT. Miss Keedick —" 1 hear that you are engaged to Mr. Hunker.” Miss Gaskett—" That is hardly correct. I have an option on him, though.” AN INVARIABLE RULE, Mr, Jiblets (in market, suspiciously) — “ Did you kill this chicken, or did it die?” Mr. Potts (positively) —" When I kill a chicken it inwariably dies, sir.” THEY GOT THE NEW LAMP. THE DEACON—"* Bruddern an’ sisters, we needs a new lamp, so we'll hab kind ob a vote on hit. All dose in fabor ob gittin’ de lamp will please sig- nerly by sayin’ * I" an’ de odders by ‘nay.'” But just then the wind blew out the lamp and the ‘*I's” had it, comicbooks.com