Judge — March 23, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Marron DIDN'T COUNT, Cuouuin—" I suppose you ate surpwised to see me al aftaw it was repawted that all on boawd were lost ?” Sarriers—" Not at all. THe papers said that no- body was saved.” WHY IS IT? HAT girlish actions are suggestive of buoy- ant spirits. That a tack points heavenward when it means mischief. ‘That a pen may be driven, but a pencil does best when it’s lead. ‘That you only have to whisper scandal and its echo is heard by all. That a woman will step on the back of her skirt when going up stairs. That woman exacts love from man as a duty and confers it upon him as a favor. That while one swallow does not make a summer, one grasshopper can make more than a dozen springs. ‘That a man may be truthful in everything else, but he always played a better game of bill- iards several years ago than he does now. KLLA STARK, THE FOLLY OF IT. Bella—“\ wonder what has made Mrs. Hurry age so in the last year or two?” Hortense—" Studying ways to keep young.” T'll jest take er nap here on the sofy while Sage A HAPPY SACRIFICE. GHE loves me, I am positive As any one can be; This Lent she tells me she will give— My rival up for me, TOO MATURE, Mamma — Well, Lorry, if you are to have Ruby and Maisie to tea you ought to ask Ned too; he is five years old now.” Lorry —* Oh, no, mamma! He doesn't like any of the plays that girls play. He's so man- nish !" THEIR BUSINESS METHODS. oe ELL,” said Bill Yuss, wt I've taken a powder for my headache, a pellet for my liver and a capsule for my gouty foot. Now, what puzzles me is, how do the blamed things know the right place to go to after they get inside?” in want. b’gosh !” “ain't in, hey? Wa-al, I'm his uncle from Wayback, I'll jest go in an’ wait fer him. — NerHew—"' Great Scott! another Astor tramp, Til fix him! 1 fix him !" THE UNCLE’S RECEPTION, HOW HE EXPLAINED IT. UNCLE Hiram—"* It’s tew bad ter see the way sum folks hustle ter pervide fer a lot er animals when human bein’s are sipose the prairie-fires hev licked up their grass, MAKING PREPARATIONS, 4s] UNDERSTAND that Freddy is getting ready to be married.” * What is he doing?” “Taking lessons at the cooking-school.” TO BE SURE! Gaggs—" What's the matter? You look glum.” Waggs—* Well, that's the way I feel. I've just lost a thousand dollars in a business deal.” Gaggs—" Oh, cheer up, old fellow, and take things as they come.” Waggs—“ Great Scott, man! any fool can take things as they come. What I find it hard to do is to part with things as they go.” A NEW ERA OF JOURNALISM. City cousin— Well, Hiram, is James Simp- son painting his barn, or is Hank Ryan laying a new plank in his sidewalk, at Squedunkville nowadays ?” Country cousin— No, William; them good old days has gone, We've got a daily paper daown there naow.” Vettes comicbooks.com