Judge — March 23, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

180 FOR IMPECUNIOUS YOUNG MEN. HE WHO talks of bare penury in a jocular way is deemed a humorist in easy circumstances, while he who prates of his wealth is put down as a liar, ‘A man should know girls extremely well or else very slightly. In the former case if she marry some one else his failure to bring a gift to the wedding will be attributed to his diarrowed feelings, while in the latter case one will not be expected. Most men gauge their expenses by the money they have, while a contented few regulate them by their needs. When a present of plated-ware is made some utterly use- less article should be selected. It will then be mounted in some inaccessible place and appreciated above its deserts. The sum of human happiness will be greater when the MAKING AN ART OF A NECESSITY. Tur MosTEss —"* Why is it that the generality of authors affect so gross a care- lessness of dress Tue Los —"* Why i that the generality of tramps affect freight-cars, ma'am ?” engaged young man buys fewer flowers now that he may purchase more vegeta- bles later on, One man may find it wise to marry on a hundred dollars and a job, while another will find twenty thousand a year and a house and lot inadequate. It all depends upon the human, especially the female, part of the equation. It is sometimes a display of wisdom to make gifts of broken china if it can be made to appear that the china came to grief in transit. The dealer, who sells such goods at a considerable reduction, should be warned not to wrap the broken pieces separately JOUX VAN DRR COOK, JK MISTAKEN AL AROUND. HAD got left, and went across to a restaurant to get a bite. He was very common in appearance, and would be assessed as two fish-balls and a cup of coffee. So when he took his seat at an JR vnoccupied table and asked the waiter when the next train went west he got as answer, “T dunno; dis ain't no depo.” But, to the surprise of the red-headed cashier and the watchful waiters, he ate an expensive, com- modious and extensive dinner, winding up with a good cigar. As he gathered up his checks and started for the desk the now attentive waiter ex- tended his hand and asked him if he had not for- gotten something. To the admiration of all be- holders and the joy of the cook, who was peering from the kitchen door, he answered, “T guess not; dis ain’t no bank,” and business went on as usual, and the traveler went out to look up his train, Ladies, don't be dictated to as to what size hats you should wear at the theatre— teenth century you drive a horse th VICTIM. OF ACCIDENT (fry horse scared at.” st We Fine fon trades THE LATEST. —but just invest in one prabinteade — and there you are, THE NOVELIST GETS OUT OF A DILEMMA. CHAPTER 1. H WAS eaten up by a burning ambition to write. He cherished this ambition for years and it put new ani- mation and hope into his life. At length, after many struggles with adverse circum- stances, he found himself in a position where it was possible for him to write, CHAPTER Il. Then he suddenly discovered that he had nothing to write about. CHAPTER IIL. ‘Then he brooded for the space of three years in melan- choly seclusion. He ate his great heart alone. He mourned and would not be comforted. CHAPTER IV, Then a sudden inspiration came to him.“ Eureka !" he cried, “It isn’t necessary to have anything to write about. I will write a modern society novel THE WHEEL WAS INNOCENT. :—"* Lam very sorry, sir, that you have been the victim of ident, but what else can you expect when at this date of the nine- scares at a bicycle?” —"" Madam, it was not the bicycle the comicbooks.com