Judge, 1895-03-23 · page 3 of 16
Judge — March 23, 1895 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 179 This page contains several humor pieces mocking social and religious practices of the era: **"Reverend Moakley McKoon on Economy"** satirizes wasteful charitable spending by clergy—the reverend describes dubious financial decisions (funding expensive expeditions, detecting fraud through expensive methods) while claiming to practice economy. The joke targets hypocrisy: religious leaders preaching frugality while spending lavishly. **"The Evolution of the Pawn-Broker"** shows four progressive stages of a pawn-broker's face, suggesting moral/physical degradation through the profession—a commentary on what was considered disreputable work. **"Her Sacrifices"** is a poem about a woman's Lenten observances, mocking performative religious devotion focused on public perception ("wants the world to know") rather than genuine faith. The remaining pieces ("The Final Order," "Taking Up the Collection," "The Toy-Pistol") are brief satirical dialogues mocking consumer behavior and church fundraising.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sidge REVEREND MOAKLEY MCKOON ON ECONOMY. Economy, ma frien’s, am de judicious use ob means to attain,suttin ends. It ain't de savin’ ‘ob de means to de bustin’ up ob de ends. Yo" see dat economy in congriss, whar dey cut off de ‘propriation fo’ an explorin’ expedition in Noo Jersey an’ den bring it home in Conestoga wagons at an expense ob fo’ hunderd t’ousan’ dollahs. Also, likewise, it uses up a harf a million dollahs to detect fo’ t'ousan’ dollahs ob fraud in pensions. Similar, it gits drunk on cider at twenty cents a gallon an’ den pays sixteen dollahs doctor's bill. It am cheaper to go inter de hull circus at fifty cents dan to see two bowie-constructors an’ a Dutch Circassian gal in a side-show fo’ a dime. Such am de case wid Deacon Bonerges Banks, who left dis chu’ch on account ob de pew-rent. Dat man had de grip dis winter an’ went down to de telephone offis an’ made dis Ppropisterous proposition, He said he was hoarse an’ could’n talk very loud, an’ wanted to know if he could'n use de wire fo’ half price. I see de indigent look on yo’ faces as yo’ dis- gust dat economical idea. Let dis be a warnin’ an’ fling in yo" money on de collection, as yo" pastor is out ob coal. THE FINAL ORDER. Mr. Peck (the grocer)—“ Is there nothing else you need, Mrs. McBride ?* Mrs. McBride—" Let me see. 1 think baby is old enough to drink cambric tea. You may send up half a pound.” Copyright by B.J. Fath, 1894. “ = a JUDGE'S FAVORITES. JULIA MARLOWE. ‘What's in thy name? It hath a classic grace, Recalling old Elizabethan time When youthful Marlowe, bard, and Shakespeare king, Ruled o'er the stage and the sweet realm of rhyme. ‘And this rare charm, that doth our fancy woo, *Tis in thy face, thy Voice, thy acting, too. THE EVOLUTION OF THE PAWN-BROKER. TAKING UP THE COLLECTION. ABSENT-MINDED MAX (/og.)—"* Where the — did that dime go to?” THE TOY-PISTOL. Lady customer— You say this pistol is far less dangerous than any other.” Toy-dealer —“ Indeed it vos, ma'am! Vy, I firet dot bistol so many as fifty times alreaty ; und I vos not tead yet.” HER SACRIFICES, GHE will not sing, she will not dance, Her brow must oft in thought be bent, Because she wants the world to know That she is truly keeping Lent ! She will not smile, she will not laugh, Her hours must solemnly be spent, Because she wants the world to know ‘That she is truly keeping Lent! She will not eat, she will not sup Too much, but, fasting, be content, Because she wants the world to know ‘That she is truly keeping Lent: She will not—no !—give up her beau ; That sacrifice she never meant To make, altho'—the world must know She otherwise is keeping Lent. Voice ( from within) —"* You, Jimmie, come inside and ‘Axnie a Toomay, stop teasing the life out of that dog.” comicbooks.com