Judge — March 2, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TH tic life. One night loud cries were heard issuing from upon the attendants rushing thither he was discovered fiercely thrusting with his sword at the tapestry, behind which the family cat had ensconced | herself for the night. moving the feline. “Harm me—harm me?” cried the emperor, looking nervously about and sheathing his sword. “It's the poor cat / was thinking of. She might suck my breath in the night and become an inebriate; and do you not know I was yesterday elected honorary. president of the society for the prevention of cruelty to animals ?” Another instance. After the battle of Waterloo the emperor was found wan- dering aimlessly about, apparently some- what dazed, and totally disregarding the bullets which filled the air some ten miles away, “All is lost, honor included !" he cried as Marshal Ney dashed up to him. * Let me die—oh, let me die like a true French- man, on the field of battle!" “What, sire! would you die by the sabres of the English cavalry?" cried Ney, sobbing like a child. “No, no, you idiot peror impetuously. your horse, and I will escape to America. I will run for congress on the Democratic ticket, and ¢here I will die, fighting like a mi for free trade and southern war- claims.” cried the em- Returning from the island of Elba, Napoleon was confronted at Fontaine- bleau by a company of the old guard, now under royal officers. “Soldiers of France!" he cried, bar- Pourrictan: newspaper cut I've seen yet,” ¢ it out! take it out!” he cried beseechingly. It is but a cat, sire, and cannot harm you,” said the attendant, re- me “Ha, ha, ha! This is the ugliest Rg THE Exapoceonicy Suse ae a E well-known disregard of Napoleon as to his personal welfare and his noble consideration for others was mani- fested almost daily, either upon the field of battle, within the council-chamber, or in the smaller matters of domes- y. cealed in de curve ob mah laig: bed-chamber, and WW rue Mid i fighting 7" WiLt—"* No. Riicksichtslosigkeit.” A MISNOMER. * Look heah, Abe Jobnsing ! 1's tired ob yo'r callin’ 1's jes’ as tall as ‘yo’ am, only mah tallness am con- ing his breast before them, “ would you shoot your old commander?” “No, sire,” they answered with one accord. “Ah! And why not “*Cause our guns ain't loaded,” they joyfully re- sponded. “Then you must be loaded yourselves, you ras- cals!" he cried, “and I'll string you all up by the thumbs.” And he did, while the tears ran down their bronz- ed faces at this touching attribute of their great com- mander, (To be continued.) BOND OF SYMPATHY. “Mamma, when are you going to let me wear long pants ?” Mrs. Bloomer—"\ don't know, Freddy.” Freddy (ructully)—" Well, 1 guess you'll know how I feel, and want to wear long pants too, when you've worn knee-pants as long as I have.” NO WONDER. Jack —""I say, old man; what you got your head tied up for—been Been reciting German and dislocated my jaw pronouncing HE LOST. st (colored) — “ Wha’ fo’ yo’ luk so down: hearted, Kim?” Mr, Kim Johnsing —" Ob, 1 done whitewashed a whole week fo’ nuffin’.” Mr. Jepson Snowfast—" How's dat?” Mr. Kim Johnsing —* Well, yo" see, IT wuz comin’ home when I met dat spohty Wilson Jones, an’ he sez,‘ Kimbo, dey's a pow"ful mess ob cull'd people out to-day,’ an’ I didn’ see as dey wuz such a big mess ob’em. Sol tole him. Den he wanted to make an agreement dat I gib him a dollah fo’ ebery cull’d pusson and he gib me a dollah fo’ ebery white man. I tell yo’, Jepson, my spohting blood riz right dar, an’ I sez, ‘Mr. Wilson Jones, I'm yo’ honey.’ So we braced ourselves agin’ de corner, and ‘long cum foah white men an’ he gib me foah dollahs; den ‘long cum a great big lank coon an’ I handed him a dollah back; den ‘long come a sleepy- lookin’ cop an’ Wilson handed me over an- nuder dollah; den ‘long cum eight white men. Why, I tell yo’, shootin’ craps wuzn't in it, I sez, ‘Wilson, dis is jes’ like findin’ money ‘—but jes’ den wha’ yo" tink happened? One o’ dem niggah fu- neral processions more’n a mile long cum down de street. I went broke—dat’s wha’s mattah wid me.” 2. A SURPRISE, Pouitictan—"* What, what ! they haven't got my name under it! !1!!— : . Blamed if comicbooks.com