Judge — February 23, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE NAPOLEONIC ¥ REVIVAL fet SS THE chaste wit and sparkling repartee of the emperor Napoleon are proverbial One morning the Russian ambassador, rush- ing somewhat rudely into the emperor's private apartments, surprised Napoleon in his bath. “ Good-morning, good-morning!” he cried cheerfully, lighting a cigarette and sitting down on the edge of the bath-tub. “Good-morning what?" cried the emperor, fixing him with so terrible a glance that the mesmeric tremors ran from his cerebellum to the lower vertebra: of his spinal column. “ Good-morning, sire—pardon the omission, sire,” gasped the terrified am- bassador, dropping upon his knees. “Wrong again,” said Napoleon with a si *Good-morning ; have you used Bear's soap?” That very day Napoleon announced to his cabinet his determination to make war upon the Russians, and upon their manifesting a mild surprise he said calmly, “My reasons, as usual, are purely humanitarian, I wish to improve the general morale of the Russian nation. I shall begin by teaching them to keep away from French balls.” And later on, upon accomplishing this improvement, to the great satis- faction of the Russians, and upon Mu- rat remarking, as he thawed out a frozen toe upon the last ember of the Kremlin, that it looked to him very much like a “ freeze-out,” the emperor answered as hotly as circumstances permitted, “M-m-murat, it's a c-cold d-day when your d-daddy gets left.” And it is written that he made the fastest time ever recorded between Moscow and Paris. (To be continued) le. “You should have said DESIRABLE PERSONAGES. Banks—" The Chinese should en- gage some ‘New York boarding-house keepers to sail on their men-of-war.” Tanks— Not to serve meals for them, I hope Banks—" No; to repel boarders.” as long as his.” MORNING, Noon, CHICAGO WEATHER. How a man can change his suit three times a day without taking it off. BUYS HIMSELF OFF, Mr, NewLyweo—"' Here's the two dollars for your fee, sir; and now I suppose you will want to kiss the bride.” Er—I say, suppose you keep the two dollars and we will FORGETFUL. Tue poc—"* That fool master of mine seems to think my legs are FEBRUARY FOURTEENTH. R. CUPID, spare my heart ! Turn your wicked little dart On some other fellow, pray ! Now my hair is getting gray And a little worn in spots, I'm not suited to beau-knots, Don't set two blue eyes on me, Mr. Cupid! For you see I have gone so long heart-free, Love would now go hard with me, MARY A. MASON. A LACK OF THOROUGH- NESS. ¢6THIS novelist,” said the book-re- viewer, “means well, but he knows nothing about anatomy.” “What makes you think so?” asked his wife. “In writing of a love-scene be- tween two people in Philadelphia he says, ‘Her words had stung Reginald to the quick.’ Anybody, it seems to me, ought to know that a Philadelphia man hasn't any quick.” comicbooks.com