Judge — February 2, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

~ NAPOLEONIC. | REVIVAL © | IT WAS midnight, and the emperor Napoleon paced the council- chamber at Malmaison. He was alone with de Bourienne. Turning sudden- ly upon the private secretary he cried, “C'est bien! A thousand years from now I'll have a page in history.” “More ‘n dat, yer honor,” re- sponded the faithful clerk. “And if I beat the Russians I shall ""—— “ Have two pages in hist'ry, boss,” interrupted the rash typewriter. “No, you fool! I shall start a manufactory of Napoleonic curios to sell to the America And the crafty Talleyrand, who was eavesdropping in the corridor, hastily tiptoed out, and before the morn had organized a curio company of his own and watered the capital to a billion francs. (To be continued.) NOT TO BE SOOTHED. THERE had been some misunderstanding between the local theatre- manager in the small town and the proprietor of the itinerant com- pany. Disagreements as to advertising expenses, disputes as to expen- ditures for properties, had invariably resulted in the local man’s surrender of his opinions. “T've decided to change the bill for to-night,” said the out-of- town manager. “Well, I'm glad ye conde- scended to tell me before ye did the public,” was the answer in a tone of resignation. “The play will be ‘As You Like It!” “No, ‘twon’t,” was the prompt response. “Ye can't jolly me, It “Il be what ye like whether I like it or not.” A GREAT CITY. Bridget (eagerly) you're back tell me phwat yez saw in Noo Yark.” Pat (gravely)—“Th’ ferry- boats! bedad, they've got a bow at th’ both inds av thim so they kin go both ways at wanst.”” Weary WILLIE — ‘An’ I jest seed a fox go in a hole over there. — wen “ Hully gee! wot’s dat I hear?—— ALL HE IS FIT FOR. Pat—"* Phwat wud yez advise me t’ mek av thot boy av moine ?” Dennis (sizing the boy up}—'* Oi think he wud be afther makin’ an iligant dood, Pat.” TOO LITERAL. ‘+ | ITTLE boy,” admonished the good man, “why did you strike your little companion? See how he weeps!" “'Cause he hited me fust. See?" replied Speckled Mulligan of the hill. “Ab, but that was no excuse for retaliation. If he smote you upon one cheek you should have turned the other.” “Hully gee! I didn't hafter turn de udder cheek, mister. Dat bloke gived me a stinger wid his left duke an’ den got in wid his right, an’ say, I jes’ handed ‘im a pair o' fives dat put ‘im ter sleep. ONE CONVERT. + FLOR marriage choose your oppo- site.” At first I thought that rash; But I shall choose my opposite— I want a girl with cash. THE ONLY DRAWBACK. $< THEN you have no disturbing element in your church?” “Only the minister's voice, and generally he keeps that pretty well hove him out; I'm ready, under control.” —Hounds, b’gosh !—— — Willie, we're in a fix.” THE HUNTING OF THE FOX, comicbooks.com