Judge — February 2, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ssLJOW'S that for a fish, grandpa?” cried a nine- year-old as he held up for in- spection a two-ounce minnow which he had lured from the wayside brook. “That's a pretty good one, Teddy; but I've caught ‘em just as big,” replied grandpa. moment and then cried triumph- The boy looked crestfallen for a antly, “Anyway, you can’t say you ever caught a bigger one, grandpa.”* “Oh, yes, I can, Teddy. “How big was he?” queried Teddy doubtfully. “Well, I'll tell you just how ‘twas, Teddy. You see I was fishing SADLY NEEDED. Mr. Jeinsteix—‘* Ve haf mits fer der ears und mits fer der hands. Py goodness ! I vish some one vould invent mits fer der nose.” one day in a nice deep pool when all of a sudden I saw a fish ‘bout as long as your arm, or longer, come swimming slowly along, and when he spied the hook he made a fierce rush at it and "-— “Swallered it!" cried Teddy excitedly. “No, Teddy; he simply smelt of it and then swam right away again.” “But you said you caught him, grandpa,” said Teddy reproach fully. “No, Teddy; 1 didn’t say 1 caught him. 1 said I could say 1 caught him; and so I could if I wanted to.’ Then grandpa winked solemn- ly, and Teddy realized the vast gulf existing between the novitiate and the thirty-third degree. UNCERTAIN, BUT EAGER. & SHAT does the new woman WwW want?” “She doesn't know, but she is going to get it.” A PORTRAIT, To the ladies who often wish to see how their husbands’ three a_m. business friend ap- pears we respectfully submit the above. DURING A PERFORMANCE OF “JULIUS CASAR.” Axtony—" Friends, Romans, countrymen! lend me"— Voice (in audience)—"* Don't yer do it! You're a sucker if yer do. me twenty dollars on a board-bill.” He owes A MISUNDERSTANDING. HE crowd at the village post-office was evidently interested in the erratic approach of a neighbor who had apparently enjoyed himself in an uproarious manner. Among the crowd was the village minister, who was shocked to hear the remark, “ There comes old Jim, and he is full.” As he staggered up the stern cleric said, “Is that so, Jim? Are you full?” “Well (hic), not quite, I c-c-could stan’ another drink. Was yer goin’ ter set ‘em up, dominie?” Sadly the dominie adjusted his glasses and stalked away amid a roar of laughter, feeling that in some way his reproof had miscarried. THE NATURAL RESULT. Maude—*\sn't it sad how Ethelinda has gone off in her looks? What has she been doing ?” Harri. Companion. Trying all the ‘toilet hints’ in 7ze Young Housewife's Daily SHE KNEW. Mr. Brown—"* I've got a cold or something in my head.” Mrs. Brown—"* It must be a cold, dear, I'm sure.” comicbooks.com