Judge, 1895-02-02 · page 4 of 16
Judge — February 2, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains multiple humor pieces satirizing social pretense and absurdity: **"The Way of the World"** mocks hypocrisy: a woman attends an "improper" play, feels ashamed, yet tells her friend to avoid it—ensuring she'll go anyway. **"Two Periods"** contrasts a young woman devoted to serious study with her current self as "a prim old maid" who now organizes women's clubs—suggesting spinsterhood redirects intellectual energy into busybody activism. **"He Knew All About Babies"** satirizes the smug, childless pontificator. Dimpleton confidently lectures about infant care despite never having children, only admitting after seven days of fatherhood that he's clueless—a common target: pretentious expertise without experience. The remaining brief sketches ("Within Striking Distance," "Hard to Comply With") appear to be quick gag cartoons without clear historical references. The satire targets Victorian-era social hypocrisy, spinster stereotypes, and male pomposity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE WAY OF THE WORLD. CLARA—"* How was the play 7° ‘Tom —" It was dreadfully improper. myself for being there.” Ctaka—" I am so glad you told me, mind not to go.” I felt ashamed of Thad made up my TWO PERIODS. WHEN she was young she spent near all her time In earnest study—books profound she read ; She loved high art, philosophy and rhyme, And had no time to waste on men, she said. But now that she’s a prim old maid she leads A life laid out upon another plan ; She organizes women’s clubs and reads Deep essays to them on the coming man. HE KNEW ALL ABOUT BABIES. Dimpleton (on train with Dashaway)—* It’s amazing how little parents know how to take care of children. Look at that baby over there, and the way they are trying to pacify it—clapping their hands and making ugly faces ; worst thing in the world for a baby.” Dashaway —" What would you do?” Suage Dimpleton— “Do? Why, I'd treat him as he ought to be treated. What's a baby’s cry for anyway? Isn't it a wise provision of nature? Isn't it a lung-developer? In the first place, to begin right at the beginning. babies are not started right. sir; very wrong. Dimpleton —“ Certainly 1 do. had enough experience with my own.” Dashaway —" Why, no! Dimpleton (reluctantly). How old is it?” “Seven days, old man.” WITHIN STRIKING DISTANCE. BAND-1.EADER (lo trombone)—"* Mr. Johnsing, yo's two bars behin’ de res’. Mx. Jounstn (¢estily)—"" Vo’ needa’ bodder “bout me; I kin ketch up any time I wanter.” HARD TO COMPLY WITH. Jacop —** You luff me? Den giff me von kiss, Rachel !* ett OATS WANTED—INQUIRE WITHIN. Now, a baby should never be taken tip. Wrong, Dashaway —" You seem to know a great deal about babies.”” 1 ought to know about them. I've Dashaway—" Your own! I didn’t know you had a baby.” Dimpleton —" For heaven's sake! Where have you been? Do you mean to say you didn't know that I was a father?” OM Masson. comicbooks.com