Judge — February 2, 1895 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S JULIETTE CORDEN AS "JANET," IN ‘ROB ROY.” Rob Roy, he is a gallant strang, Teed the laddie ; Bat yet, Janet, ‘twas your sweet sang ‘That on my heartstrings echoed lang. Ye're bonniest all the clan amang ‘That wear the plaidie. WEIGHED DOWN. Uncle Joel Uphill —“ What makes all these young city fellers so hump-shouldered 2” Mr. City Hall—“ Wearing chrysanthemums.” QUITE OLD. Willie (weeping copiously and wiping jam from his mouth)—" It’s a mean skin—boo-hoo! Mamma always let me have jam, and I'll kill that old aunt, I will.” Bobbie—" Never mind ; you've had your jam, and never mind the lickin’, It’s too bad she caught you, though. I wish we could find some way to get the best of her, but I guess she’s no spring chicken.” Willie (savagely) —" You bet she ain’t. She's old enough to be a settin’ hen.” udge GETTING EVEN. JINX was clerk in a dry-goods store, But he couldn't keep the pace, For a girl who would work for less Meanly beat him out of bis place. Later on he asked her to wed, And the girl was nothing loath ; So now he is even at last, For she is supporting them both “S 6. & THE NEWSPAPER OF goo. Manag ing editor—" Have you fixed up the terms for the most popular grave-digger con- test?” City editor — Yes, sir.” Managing editor—" And have you prepared the coupons for the butchers’, ash-cart drivers’, cigarette-makers’, bootblacks’, fruit-venders’ and dock-rats’ contests ?” City editor—"\ have.” Managing editor —" How many pages are now taken up with advertisements of our books, scissors, spoons, razors and pocket-knives ?” City editor —" Six and a half pages, 1 think.” Managing editor—* Well, 1 think we can spare another page for our grocery department. The counting-room fellows want three pages, but I sha’n’t give them more than two. We must | a a HER PAPA'S DOG GETS “LEFT.” he JuDGE patent trouser-saving device, so A USELESS GIFT. MotHer—"‘Charley. you come right in the house — the idea of your slopping around in that snow and mud with those nice new rubber boots that Santa Claus gave you!" spare another column for the soap coupon, however. Don't you think we can do it?” City editor—"\ shall try to find space for it.” Managing editor —“And, by the way, have we any news for to- morrow’s paper?” City editor— Let—me—see. I think we have a ten-line item somewhere.” Managing editor—*You must cut it down. Those fellows down stairs would make an awful kick if we published all that. But hold ! T'll tell you what we'll do. We'll run in that item somewhere and print a coupon offering a prize to the first person who finds it. That will square matters. City editor—" Sure.” W. L. RIORDON, AN ICE-CRUSHER. Mr. Rune~— De ladies an’ gen'lemens hab appinted me er committee ob one, Mistah Johnson, ter ainform yer dat ef yer doan’ stop goin’ roun’ heah breakin’ de ice wid yer haid dey will jis’ natcheally kick de stuffin’ outer yer. Heah me?” comicbooks.com