Judge — February 2, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ude. W. J. Arwen Brrxnano Gittas. 1. M. Guecony, Editor. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ATVANCE, One copy, one year, or 52 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 ‘One copy. for thirteen weeks = = 1.25, Tncliding the Cwxistatas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE Buitvinc), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. 87 THE PUBLISHERS of the New York weekly JUDGE notify the public that the use of JUDG ing schemes by printing and inserting advertising ren its leaves is a direct violation of the publishers’ rights under the copy- Vo one is authorized by the publishers to use JUDGE in this manner, and they will take prompt measures to stop anybody from 40 using their paper. JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 110 Fifth avenue, New York, 27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Jupcm are protected by copy- ‘ight in both the United States and Great Britain, Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. SOROSIS on home lite—There isn't any. wen JOSEPH SIBLEY speaks truth, but he grossly mutilates it, cee LOUISVILLE ‘wants to sell her water-works, We have suspected this. eee ‘TEM showing extreme progress— Colonel Breckinridge has can- celed his lecture engagements. T IS THOUGHT by the kaiser | that prayer to a higher authority /j than his is evidence of treason, WHA EVER may be the mat- ter with Thomas B, Reed's leg. he hasn't sprained his intellect. KEAFTER when a_ public officer shows a pass toa raile | road conductor the latter will order him up. ONCE A YEAR Andrew Jack- son is credited with the re- mark," Off with his head—so much for Packeoham. HY sits he there alone as in lespair, With wildly-gleaming eyes and un- Kempt hair? Far from the haunts of men, in dreamy m He haunts the sylvan glade and silent wood. Surely some social wrong or faith- Hath sent him sorrowing to the lonely grove. Nay, not for this the dreamer sits In deeper darkness was his sorrow For scarce A moon ago be conned ‘The daily papers and there chane- Financial items about “gold re- serve,” and then A TERRIBLE CASE. He studious grew and left the haunts of men. ‘Alas! now mad, he claims that he can see ‘Through Jobn Carlisle's financial policy. FTEEN THOUSAND COUPLES were married in Chicago last year. Therefore this year will be prosperous. The lawyers will be busy, the railroads will have a good passenger traffic, and that part of the clergy which does re-marrying will find itself thoroughly occupied. And we must BETTER TIMES. remember that the first-marriage business will go right on, with its attending opportunities. THE HEALTH QUESTION. A SCIENTIST proposes to inoc- ulate butter with a newly-dis- covered bacillus marked number forty-one. Perhaps a simpler way would be to give it to the farmer or the milk-maid, the cow having been already attended to, Inoculation in behalf of honesty has long been needed; and from this standpoint one can see a positive blessing in most-of the particles which have hitherto labored ably for the de- struction of mankind. MUGWUMPS AND SLAVES. ‘¢NOT TO BE a mugwump,” HE CROWN PRINCE of Siam . 2 T having died, there will be an HE: NEEDED BOTH, “is to Se he ter nae Mrs, Farmer—" Will you take mince- or apple-pie?” a ave Us oCe coat interval of five minutes for the pro- Harran HaFr—‘‘1 allus takes ‘em together, mum. De mince-pie is indi- not to be a slave is to be the kind duction of the appropriate tears. gestible an’ de apple-pie acts as a gentle cathartic.” of kicker who kicks his legs off and THE EDITOR of the Jndependent objects to the all-jaw caricatures of goes around eulogizing the adapt- ability of cork as a means to precision and rapidity in the art of pedes- Trilby. Perhaps this gentleman forgets that Trilby was a woman. _trianism. A mugwump is a squealer as well as a kicker, and whenever things don’t go as he directs he seeks out his grandmother and sobs F THE TARTARS and the Mongolians might be induced to fight each himself to sleep on her hospitable lap. other they would draw much blood. ‘There is nothing so courageous and merciless as a family quarrel. ; ces FOR A MAN who thinks it disgraceful to die rich Mr. Carnegie is toler- W'!TH ONE of the richest countries in the world under its control the laa mer ey oe pesmi We rae the gov- Democratic party doesn't know enough to avoid the danger ofS" yy iesund bo oder ta mincice to ee Serie bankruptcy. Given the means to wealth, and the very wealth itself, is ° 3 ea as ie eon He ae Mnaneeers 20. cut We wages ol bis there a man outside of Washington who wouldn't be a better financier ‘™PIoyés considerably more. However, one can't expect any particular hawthan? man to be a poverty-stricken angel some time before he dies, there are so : ‘ eae many other men who are more adapted to the business. GENEROUS SOUL! N ADDITION to other kinds of new woman The /mpress, organ of JUMPING CLAIMS. women, wants a woman-at-large, whose duty it shall be to do board _ 9 oe 2 . . and committee work and provide secretaries for societies. That isanew [N THE EARLY DAYS of California a gold-seeker died. Two friends idea, Let the instruction of the woman-at-large begin at once and con- went to his cabia to sit up-with him. ‘The corpse occupied a planks tinue to the end of the next century. the ends of which were supported by two kegs. To while away the time Ca % they played cards on its peaceful breast. Suddenly the Chinaman who had been digging his grave rushed in with the declaration that he had ILL AND Cl LAND may not have embraced each other at their struck gold. Thereupon the corpse rose to a sitting posture, grabbed a recent meeting, but it is much to say that they got away from each revolver, and shrieked, “Kill him and jump his blamed claim! These other without suffering the slightest injury. If that is not harmony it Mongolyuns must be got under!" Possibly there is something in this old is at least a willingness to accept harmony as soon as the terms of story which the powers who are contemplating a satisfactory settlement mutual surrender and the requisite perquisites can be satisfactorily ar- of the war between Japan and China may find appropriate to their reflec- ranged. tions. comicbooks.com