Judge — January 5, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGMENTS. AMBITION is only a virtue when masculine. Houses and lots, and lots and lots of care. No evil means ever yet wrought out a good end. The man who gives all of his earnings to his wife is a shirk. A brass key unlocks more feminine hearts than a gold one. Sometimes man's pun- ishment for:sin is over-pro- portioned, but nature's nev- er is. Bury your money in the wood-shed and dig the hole yourself, rather than in some other man’s mine. Opportunity is lost on one who knows not how to seize and when to wait and when to go and meet. The most serviceable teaching is the experience of the past, but the most profit- able is the lesson of the mo- ment, MADELINE ORVIS. A HOWLING SWELL. THE PARTY ATTACHED TO THE BEANS (lo the onter de dude, Shorty. He went down ter Delmonico's yesterday an’ got one o' dose high- toned grub-cans tied on his tail, an’ now he t'inks he's better dan de rest uv us.” farty attached to the broth)—"* Get WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK. BUILT THAT WAY NOW. Jounntz—"' I guess you could scratch a match now all right ; couldn't you, Miss May?” lovely song called ‘The hash is cold.’” it a funny song?” Mamma: A LITTLE LATER. cruel, the grave is cold.’” A LARGE debt is rot always evidence of unlimited credit, INCONSEQUENCES. [7 1S the drops and the grains and the kisses, And such inconsequent things— The wee and transient blisses— That a woman's heart most misses; That a woman's soul most sings. KATHRIN GROS}RAM. INTERRUPTED BLISS. Moses—" Oh, Sara! vot for you go vake me up vhen I vos having such peautiful treams?” Sara—" Vot vos you tream- ng, Moses?” Moses—" | treamed dot der house vos on fire.” “Lend me ten dollars, ole fel.” “Only have five about me, dear chappie.”” HIS SORROW SONG. Stanley (aged four years) —" Mamma, please sing that Mamma—"\ don’t know any song about hash, Stanley. Is Stanley No, indeed, mamma; it’s a ‘ sorrow song.’ * Well, I can’t think what you mean.” Mamma (sings, from * My dearest heart") —"* "The grave is Stanley (excitedly) —" That's it, mamma; that's it! But I made a mistake. It wasn’t the hash; it was the gravy.” ample means and NEGOTIATION EXTRAORDINARY. “Thanks. Just remember you owe me the balance, then,” comicbooks.com