Judge — January 5, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage NO GOOD. was reading with a snifile. handkerchief ?” “T ain't got any.” “ Where is the one I gave you this morning ?” “ You didn’t give me a handkerchief. a hole with a hem ‘round it.” NOT USED TO SLEIGHING, GHE wonders why, mile after mile, From kissing he abstains ; Although she wears her sweetest smile And slyly takes the reins, ORGAN, our youngest, who uses his handkerchief for any purpose that the moment may demand, had been given one that morning by his sister, which, to all outward appearance as folded, was a genuine article. He alternated the turning of the leaves of the book he Sister couldn't stand it any longer.“ Morgan,” she said, “why don't you use your You gave me ‘TOUGHEST MAN IN DEADGULCI Cnou.y Texperroot—" Have you any desperate characters around here now ?" Driver (of Deadgulch coach}—"* Ya- as; Alkali Ike's purty tough.” CHOLLY What's his record 2" Driver —" Why, ‘fore Ike's wife 'd been dead a week he got full an’ rode down ter Bloody Canyon an’ married his mother-in-law,” AND THIS IS MAN. A. TINY. speck upon the scene where lights and shadows meet, A merest atom on a field where joys and sorrows fleet ; A simple nothing in the whirl of struggling, seething life, With its greatest, best endeavor a mere zero in the strife. A brief and tried existence, feeble at its greatest height ; A flickering star whose meagre beam is quickly lost in night ; A thing whose life and being hangs on a hair-like thread, Suspended from a vast unknown where sleep unnumbered dead ; With mystery for beginning and oblivion at the end, As myriad worlds of atoms ever on and upward trend, Yet—this small, presumptuous mor- sel,with a vision lame and dim, Sometimes really thinks the uni- verse was solely made for him. No at, TALMADGE Miss Beckie Brown —** I wonder why Silas Jones is riding side-saddle?” BUT YET HIS WIFE. G HUSBAND (home from the office)—"* Why, what's the trouble, pet ?” wire (in fears}—"* Oh, George — my husband —I have made a terrible — promise that you'll forgive me ! HUSBAND (shutting his teeth)—"* Is it as bad as that ?” Younc wire —“* Even worse (s0bs)—I bought this pair of shoes at Tenth street lars (sobs) and now I find that (sas) I could have got them at One-hundred- jeth street for only four dollars and ninety-eight cents."* SHOEMAKER ||~— - | NOY "Some || AN OPTICAL DELUSION, way back." ‘O'BRiEN— “Oi can’t raich it, Patsy.” McSorLey—"' Come aff, thin. Oi tould yez Oi should be an the top, be rason av havin’ the longest legs.” LONG DISTANCE. Lady (inside front entrance of Bloomerdale flats)—"" Who in the world is ringing my bell like that ?” Belt-hanger's boy—" It's us, mum. We're a-fixin’ of “em.” Lady—" Why didn’t you tell me so, and not bring me trapes- ing down from the fifth floor ?” Belt-hanger's boy —" How could we tell you when you wasn't here? These ain't no telerfoams !" StLas Jones— ‘‘ Put a patch on this old boot, John, an’ I'll git it on my comicbooks.com