Judge — December 15, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

408 FRANCOIS ATTENDS A SALON. s+] TINK I haf been impose upon, monsieur,” said Fran- ois this morning, aftet the usual interregnum of gloomy silence with which he prefaces his tales of woe. Asked for an explanation, he pursued, “Mullen, ze footman of ze millionaire pork-merchant from Chicago, who has lately settled here, say to me, ‘ Frangois, haf you ze entrée to ze four hundred?” I tell heem zat I haf not, w'en he say, *Come wiz me; I will introduce you to ze—ze créme of ze aristoc- racy of ze ceety—ze four hundred.” Iam delight; I tink eet cez grand honeur for me, Francois, a simple valet. to be introduce into such so- explain to me, for my friend take ze pitchaire and go out, and w'en he haf return’ | see zat he haf brought —not ze absinthe of ze haut Parisian, nor ze champagne of ze haut ton of New York, but —w'at you t'ink, monsieur? Ze vulgair beer of ze German and ze canaille! I no like zat. I say to myself, ‘Eef zis eez ze mode of ze four hundred, w'at must eet be wiz ze sans-culottes "Mais I tink I haf been impose upon. Eh, mon- sieur?” WaKOLD rAvKE RECENT SCIENCE. ENNY kissed me when we met, Jumping from the chair she sat in, And I knew that I should get All those things they name in Latin, A PRACTICAL EDUCATION, Not an ochlorophyllous, Not a bacillus, has missed me— Microbes, germs. and all because Deedy yais ; ‘specially de foot-ball trainin’. He kin Jenny kissed me. ‘ken off de perch, tuck him undah bis right arm cn’ eisstval itd, ciety, and go wiz heem. We take ; Parson Jounson — ** Dik "s in ve him any, ze train on 2e elevate road and go geaghARO™ Jounso! Did your son's college education impro Y. up town, Ze firs’ ting I know we Deacon Ketcnum —"* are in Harlem. I cannot t'ink any teste g De socal, soen sch DISTURBED READING. of ze four hundred live in Harlem, mais my friend say zay do. Well, pretty soon we climb four pairs of stairs —vaire narrow and vaire dark, and ze place smell vaire strong of ze onion. I no like zat. I relish ze onion in ze soup and ze ragout, mais not to smell in ze hallway and ze salon, Vaire soon we are usher into ze salon— wat you call ze parlaire. Mon Dieu, monsieur! Eet is no bigger zan—zan—well, w'en we haf all sat down our knees come togazaire. Zaire were ze muzaire and two daughtaire, mais zey are not beautiful. Vaire soon my friend say, “+ Miss Rosie, will you geeve us some museek Ze oldest won of ze daughtaire twist her head, wich haf ze curls, like ze corkscrew, all round, and she say. Oh, chestnut!” Wat she mean by zat I do not know, mais zat ez w'at she say; and zen she seat herself at ze piano and begin to play. Mon Dieu, monsieur! You haf nevaire heard anyt'ing like zat! Ect eez like ze tin kettle to ze tail of ze dog! Mais ze tone of ze piano cez nossing to ze voice of ze lady. Sacré bleu! You haf heard ze cat on ze back fence? Bien, zc cat eez ze mos’ melodious. She sing somesing about ‘Sweet Marie,’ mais I t'ink ze lady of zat name would become vaire sour if she s‘ould hear zis. Zen she sing, encore, * Daisy Belle‘and ozaire songs. Zen she turn roun’ on ze stool and say, “*Say, gents; w'at's de matter wid de growler? I'm as dry as A Ii er fish.” with him. “1 do not zen know w’at is zis, mais eet seem to me not ze language of ze fine lady—of ze four hundred. But eet cez soon goes a long way comicbooks.com