Judge, 1894-12-15 · page 3 of 16
Judge — December 15, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 407 This page contains multiple satirical vignettes typical of Judge's humor. The sketches mock various social situations: **"A Question of Locality"** jokes about regional dialect—a character's unfamiliar term ("bar-maiden") confuses locals who call them "pretty waiter-girls." **"Drawing the Line"** appears to reference political divisions, mentioning Republicans and Democrats in a context about work opportunities. **"Love Braves All Dangers"** mocks romantic melodrama, with a character (Jack Dasher) proposing despite social obstacles. The page also includes **"Parkhurst at Lakewood,"** a poem about ballet dancers, and several other brief satirical bits about everyday social absurdities—carelessness, class pretension, and changing social mores. The humor relies on recognizing period-specific social codes and regional differences that would have been familiar to Judge's educated, urban readership in the early 1900s.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PARKHURST AT LAKEWOOD. THE ballet sprites in their spangled tights, As fluffy as eider-down, Now dance in a way that would seem to say, ** Parkhurst is out of town,” A QUESTION OF LOCALITY. Stivers —"\ hear that Lord Tuppeny has a bar-sinister in his escutcheon. What does that mean?" Jeggers—" Oh, we call them pretty waiter-girls’ in this count A SATISFACTORY SUBSTITUTE. Irate woman —" Git out of here, you dirty In- jun! Is it dinner you have the face to beg for? I'll sic one of the dogs on you !” Chief Much. ‘fraid-of -water (placidly)—"S'pose sic fat dog on big Injun; him heap glad.” UNFORTUNATE CARELESSNESS. Papa —* Why so thoughtful, Johnnie?” | Johnnie— Well, people are having such a hard time hunting for the north pole I think it’s too bad | it ever was lost.” DRAWING THE LINE. Frowery Fieps—'*T’ank heaven de Republicans are in again, Willie, an’ dere'll be lots uv work.” Weary Wit Vot of it?” Frowery Fieps—" Why, now we kin draw de social line more closely. Dere's been a number uv people in our set lately dat“I tink would acterally work if dey had a chance. We kin weed dem characters out now.” JUSTIFIABLY DISCHARGED UNCENSURED. June SoxrLavs—" Who is, and what is the plea of, this Indian, who was captured running amuck among the foot-ball players, brandishing a scalping-knife ?” Lawyer —* He is Scalping Dog, the reformed Apache, your * honor ; ordinarily very peaceful. But upon witnessing his first foot-ball game the suggestive hirsuteness so tempting to the in- stincts of his race temporarily unbalanced his mind, and he asks discrimination of your honor on that score.” THEN AND NOW. $+ FLOOL.," said my muse to me, “look into thy heart and write!” ‘And excellent advice indeed she gave you then, my Sidney however, the muse is a different lady quite, And far too fin de sidcle, Phil, for fellows of your kidney. No. Now her advice—unless it sadly is misconstrued Has changed its anatomic text to one you'd scarce forgive her; Judged by the yellowishness and jingle of half her brood, Some introspect their pockets, and some look into thei LOVE BRAVES ALL DANGERS. -¢ 3 Epirit—"* Surely Mabel isn't going to cross the avenue in this storm." LAbles of forty summers and more than forty falls are MAUD—" Ver ehe is I know that Jack Dasher proposed to her yesterday, and she'd riding bicycles. show that engagement ring to me if she had to swim over.” comicbooks.com