Judge — December 15, 1894 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ww. J. Ament awmano GILLAM, TM. Geecony, Editor. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. IMETRD STATES AND CANADA. IW ADVAMCA. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 6 numbers - 3.00 One copy! for weeks ees tas Including the C ‘Twas JUDGE FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all for tien countries 10 the postal wniom $60 70 THe Juvoe PuBLiSHino COMPANY (Jupce BurLnina) Cor. Fifth Ave, and 16th Street. New York. Judge's Artists and Writers HAVE THIS YEAR OUTDONE THEMSELVES IN The Christmas Judge, which was published on December 1st simultaneously throughout the United States The CHRISTMAS JUDGE is a looked-for holiday number by fun-lovers, and this year it sustains its well-won reputation, Order of your newsdealer. 25 cents per copy. THE VOICE of the populist is the voice of bedlam. SENATOR HILL perhaps went south to grow up with the country. a ee OMPLIMENTS of the season to Czars Nicholas and Thomas B. PRES NTLY nothing will remain of the Chinese empire but a large hole. QUESTION OF THE HOUR—If a man die by electricity shall he live again? HE CASE OF THE CZAR—It takes a mighty death to warrant so much funeral. TAKE YOUR LANTERN, Diogenes, and see if you can find a Democrat or a Chinaman. THE PEACE SOCIETY should find great encouragement in the fighting of the Chinese. * ‘THE FUNNY STORIES by Dean Hole, though extremely old, are selected and edited with much athing-suids?” ISAACSTEIN icago.”” Conen— Isaacstein—" No. THE MAN who willingly wears a large chrysanthemum ought to be tickled to. death with a good-sized sunflower, THE ONLY DEMOCRAT in the Michigan legislature is Donovan. We suspect that the lump is going to leaven Donovan. ACCORDING to a recent decision a dog may not be killed until he has shown that he is dangerous. Get a dog to give you hydrophobia and there's your case. THE CONTINUANCE of the Turkish government after the last slaughter in Armenia is an insult to decent humanity the world over, and the European politics that treats it feebly or overlooks it is a hideous crime. ‘THE MINISTERS of Cincinnati want Colonel Ingersoll arrested for blasphemy. What is now orthodoxy was once burned at the stake, Let us not revive such atrocity. Men have as much right to be wrong as to be right, particularly if they make it interesting. REATER CHICAGO proposes to annex the rest of Illinois and cer- tain towns of other states along its borders. Then it will ask con- gress for an appropriation of a few million more inhabitants, and then it will appoint a thousand men to officiate as makers of census affidavits. ALL THE RAGE. * How did you efer ged rid ohf dot pig stock ohf “I shipped dem to mine prudder-in-law in Yat! bathing-suids in Chicago?” Dey vas bicycle-costumes out dere, und they vent like hot cakes too.” A BOTTLE OF WINE. MBS. CLEVELAND opened a large bottle on the St.Louis, and the temperance women are indignant. They say a bottle of water would have answered the purpose as well; but that penuriousness is unfit for so magnificent a christening. Let us hope that the good lady will escape the abuse of the temperance cranks, now that she is so fortunate as to have escaped their compliments, SOCIETY IN A PENITENTIARY. OLBY, the Ohio black man guilty of the usual crime of his kind, is treated with contempt by his fellow-prisoners, who say he doesn’t belong in thei There is some hope for criminals who thus condemn that particular crime, but we trust they won't lynch the scoundrel. As the placard said of the singer in a Bowery dive, “Don’t kill him—he's doing the best he can.” HIS WELCOME ABSENCE. HE CORONER has probably gone. He will no longer have watch- men on guard, looking out for “stiffs; and the rival coroner and he will do no more fighting over the dead persons so mentioned. Familiarity with misery made him heartless, and in many cases he was vulgar as well. His office was elective, and “the boys” and he were hail fellows, and loud and boisterous fellows too. There have been good coroners, but the ma- jority of them have been a shock to grief and a shame to all funereal pro- priety. JUDICIAL TYRANNY. A PRISONER in a Massachusetts court laughed at his sentence of four years, and the judge immediately gave him five. That has a funny appearance where one~ doesn’t happen to be the prisoner; but it was really undignified and contemptible tyranny, and we hope the judge will be sent up for thirty days for every joke of that nature he may hereafter perpetrate. There was once a judge in this city who got great praise for pleasantries of that kind, and it finally turned out that he was crazy. But his victims served out their terms. THE RIGHT OF PRIVACY. THE NEWSPAPERS are miserably cruel to those persons who have be- taken themselves to the divorce courts. The hearts of those persons are unavoid- ably bruised to begin with, and their pri- vate griefs and humiliations do not belong, to the world, To interview those persons. with regard to those private matters is im- pertinent as well as cruel. “But,” say the newspapers, “we give what our readers demand.” Very well, Carry out the rule, honor this apparent demand, and in five days there won't be a newspaper fit to go into a decent family. BOORS AND BLOOMERS. 46] HAVE always found,” says a lady of the bicycle club of this city, speaking of the boors who laugh at her wheeling costume, “that when you slap a man once real hard he will leave you alone.” ‘Thus we see how masculinity develops in women when they wear masculine costume; and the remedy would prove worse than the annoyance. A woman cannot go about slapping boors without inviting further insult; for behold you! if she insists on men’s methods of rebuke she will surely not be treated as a lady. A better way would be to carry a small gun, taking the utmost care, lest she shoot herself, that it is never, never loaded. THE GREAT PROBLEM. DEBS 15 pantally vindicated by the Cleveland committee, This ougint not to encourage further strikes. "Probably it will not. ‘The strik- ers have had all the experiments of that kind they want. But if it con- vinces them that governments have sympathy for them when they are right, as well as condemnation when they are wrong, and if it inspires concessions between capital and them, good will come of it. This con- gress ought to give its best attention to the problem involved; and mean- while the Debses should obligate themselves not to agitate and injure every innocent person in the country because of the troubles between capital and labor. comicbooks.com