Judge — December 8, 1894 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOOD INTENTIONS NOT A “THEO Exper Fowter (sfernly)—"' | beliebes, brudder, dat de reason dat yo" resigns an axcepts yo’ new call am fo’ mo' money, sah—money, which am de root ob all ebil!” Parson Krens—"' Yo! am right in one respec’, eldah—money am de root ob LOGICAL DEDUCTION, all ebil. Whar dey am de mos’ root dey am de mos’ ebil. ebil dey hab de mos’ need ob a pastor. Derefo’, eldah, da de call.” Whar dey am de mos’ am de reason I axcepts HE GOT IT. Tramp (at farm-kitchen door)—" Do you happen to have a little peppermint in the house, ma‘am?" Farmer's wife— \'m afraid not, my poor man.” Tramp—A little whisky would do, ma'am, The lady on the farm below you, who handed out the Christmas dinner, has committed the vul- gar error of putting too much vinegar in the salad-dressing.” ARSENT-MINDED INVENTOR—"* Now these pul- leys and cog-wheels working in opposite directions,” etc., etc., ete. (Proceeds to lay out plans of it on his friend's shirt-borom.) ** Now tell me, what d'ye think of it?” Tue rRIEND—"* Well, I think— ALWAYS BENEFICIAL, A SIGN. Collector—"1 guess the Jones family are going to move.” Landlord —" Did they tell you so Collector —* No; but they gave the man who lives up- stairs a flute for Christmas.”” CHRISTMAS. FEELING. Mrs. Quig "Did you enjoy the Christmas serv- ice?” Mrs. Twillers— “Ever so much. Mrs. Hotspur wore her last year's bon- net; and what do you think? Daisy van Tassel had on that flimsy sack she bought early last fall.” Myre PREPARING FOR THE FRAY. Clara— Do you enjoy your exercises at the gymnasium?” Ethel—* Not particularly ; but I think it is the duty of every woman to cultivate muscle—especially at this time of year.” Clara—* Why at this time any more than any other >" Ethel— Why, my dear girl, just consider the Christmas bargains at the stores ! — it's a blamed bad scheme, and I guess you'd better draw a few more cog-wheels on there so 1 might at least have a polka-dot pattern.” comicbooks.com